Jimmy Tsai credited as playing...
Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: [speaking to fat kid] What's your name?
- William Lin: William.
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: Free Willy, listen up. Don't ask stupid questions and you won't get stupid answers.
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: I swear on the graves of 18 generations of my ancestors, I ain't gonna be late again.
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: You take a country of 1.4 billion people, you're sure to have a few hundred tall mother
- [bleep]
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: ers.
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: They called me the Orient Express. They called me that for more than one reason, feel me?
- Jon Howard: Actually, I don't.
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: Look, people think sports is fair just cause it's got rules and stuff, but is it fair that Chinese people are short or, you know, we have fewer fast twitch muscles in our legs?
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: Look at my one Chinese brother, man. His parents made him play the accordian for 10 years. Look what happened to him!
- Jon Howard: Wha-what happened?
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: Homey's in tech support now, man. It hurts me, dog. It hurts me
- JP Money: What's the hold up?
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: Ah, you can't just run up and start humping a leg like a dog. You got to be like a tiger. You got to stalk the prey.
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: And I told her, "Whoa now, no one takes a ride on this Orient Express without paying for a ticket!"
- Jon Howard: I had B.S. Chang's last night. It was a delightful meal.
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: B.S. Chang's is about as Chinese as Charlie Chan, man. Chang's ain't no real Chinese.
- Jon Howard: Charlie Chan isn't Chinese? Is that true?
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: You know the comic book I'm working on? The one with the gun-toting, crime-fighting pandas?
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: Don't you know 'boba' is Chinese for boobs? You drink enough of it, that's what you get. Man boobs.
- William Lin: Is it true that Coach Wang broke ten bones?
- Felix: I heard they cut off her arm!
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: [amused] What are you smoking?
- Cheryl Davis: You will be required to refrain from all verbal ejaculations for the remainder of the tournament.
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: Verbal what?
- Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: A loser is someone who takes Chinese classes for 3 years and is still afraid to order something at Panda Express.