Johnny Kastl credited as playing...
Doug
- Melody O'Harra: Well... it's official: I am the only single sorority sister left. I guess it's true what they say: first one to be in a threesome, last one to get married.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Damn!
- [beats one hand over the table where Doug is sitting at, pouring Doug's coffee over him]
- Dr. Christopher Turk: I'm sorry, she just said she was in a threesome.
- Dr. Doug Murphy: [having the same reaction as Turk's, and so forth] Damn!
- male nurse: Damn!
- surgeon: Damn!
- Snoop Dogg Resident: [out of frame] Damn!
- Melody O'Harra: I just don't want to end up like my aunt Sheila and get married and have a kid when I'm 50; I mean, you find a tooth in that house, you don't know whose mouth it fell out of.
- J.D.: Oh...
- Melody O'Harra: Sometimes I wonder, you know, if I'm ever actually going to find someone, you know?
- J.D.: Yeah... Now, was it two girls and a guy, or a devil's threesome?
- Melody O'Harra: All-girl.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: [as J.D. lifts coffee cups from the table, he beats both his hands on it] Damn! Sorry...
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Well, I'm giving up on Melody.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Dude, no. Man, me? I'm married, so I may never, ever, EVER have sex again. You? There's still a chance for you. Damn it, if you're not going to do it for yourself, at least do it for me.
- Todd: And me.
- Dr. Doug Murphy: For all of us.
- [the other three look strangely at Doug]
- Dr. Doug Murphy: What? You guys are surprised I don't get any?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: You guys are crazy. Nobody else in this hospital thinks I'm upset about Elliot.
- Dr. Mickhead: [cut to Dr. Mickhead] Tough break, man.
- Todd: [cut to Todd raising his hand] "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" five.
- Leonard: [cut to Leonard shakes his hook at J.D] I know about loss, brother.
- Dr. Doug Murphy: [cut to Doug in the morgue, holding a heart] It's like she took your heart and just...
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [the camera cuts to J.D. A splat is heard] Doug, aren't you supposed to save those?
- Dr. Doug Murphy: Don't tell anyone.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Okay. I'm going to head over here to vomit.