Rob Reiner credited as playing...
Max Belfort
- Max Belfort: $430,000 in one month, Jordy. Huh?
- Jordan Belfort: They're business expenses.
- Max Belfort: Jordy, look what you've got here. Look at this! $26,000 for one fucking dinner!
- Jordan Belfort: No, no, this can be explained. Dad, we had clients, Pfizer clients. Champagne.
- Nicky Koskoff: The porterhouse from Argentina.
- Jordan Belfort: Expensive champagne and the what, we had to buy champagne.
- [to Donnie]
- Jordan Belfort: And you brought in all the sides... Tell him about the sides.
- Donnie Azoff: I ordered the sides, so...
- Max Belfort: Sides? Sides? $26,000 worth of sides? What are these sides? They cure cancer?
- Donnie Azoff: The sides did cure cancer, that's the problem, that's why they were so expensive.
- Jordan Belfort: [bursting into laughter] Shut the fuck up!
- Donnie Azoff: I'm serious.
- Max Belfort: Jordy, one of these days the chickens are gonna come home to roost.
- Jordan Belfort: You're lookin' at me like I'm crazy.
- Max Belfort: Crazy? This is obscene!
- Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It was obscene, in the normal world. I mean, who the fuck wanted to live there?
- Max Belfort: [hears a phone] Who the fuck has the goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night? God damn it!
- Leah Belfort: [watching TV] You're gonna miss it!
- Max Belfort: Tell me something I don't know, I wait all week for the fucking Equalizer and they have to fucking...
- [picks up the phone, then calmly, in a transatlantic accent]
- Max Belfort: Hello?... Jean? How are you, Jean?... Righto, Jean, that'll be great... Cheerio!
- [Hangs up. Explodes]
- Max Belfort: Fucking half-wit!
- Leah Belfort: You missed it!
- Max Belfort: [Furious] God damn it!
- Jordan Belfort: I want to stay married, Dad, but it's crazy out there. Some of these girls, you should see them. Oh, my God. They're fuckin' - the things they're doing now, Pops, I mean, I mean, it's on a whole other level.
- Max Belfort: Really?
- Jordan Belfort: And they're all shaved too.
- Max Belfort: Get outta here.
- Jordan Belfort: All shaven now.
- Max Belfort: Are you kidding me?
- Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
- Max Belfort: No bush?
- Jordan Belfort: Bald. Bald as as China doll.
- Max Belfort: No bush?
- Jordan Belfort: No bush.
- Max Belfort: Oh my God.
- Jordan Belfort: All the sudden I - one week - nobody had anything down there any more.
- Max Belfort: It's a new world.
- Jordan Belfort: They're bald - they're bald from the eyebrows down.
- Max Belfort: Wow!
- Jordan Belfort: Nothing. Not a stitch. It's like lasers.
- Max Belfort: Wow. New world. See. I was born too - too early.
- Jordan Belfort: I've never been a fan of the bush, to be honest.
- Max Belfort: Really?
- Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
- Max Belfort: I don't mind it.