Attack of the Xenophobes

Alan Shore: Jerry?

Jerry Espenson: Alan.

Alan Shore: What are you doing?

Jerry Espenson: I'm standing with my head up against a wall.

Alan Shore: Yes. Why?

Jerry Espenson: I had a little row with Leigh.

Alan Shore: I saw that. Much of the office did.

Jerry Espenson: I think I was mean to her. Was I mean to her?

Alan Shore: Well, from my vantage point, you were very mean. She was feeling hurt, extremely vulnerable, she lashed out in pain. At which point, you whipped out the wooden cigarette and thrashed her with it.

Jerry Espenson: I just felt everybody staring at us, and...

Alan Shore: Have you called her to apologize?

Jerry Espenson: I tried, but... She's dating my clock radio. Just to get back at me.

Alan Shore: ...I beg your pardon?

Jerry Espenson: She has a crush on my clock radio. I let her borrow it after the utility box was killed, and when I called to apologize, the two of them were headed out to a movie.

Alan Shore: ...I'm not quite sure how to respond to that... other than to say, you've had two wonderful dates with this woman - you're at the precipice of kissing - and it just seems... wrong for her now to be dating your clock radio.