Hooking Up

I bought 400 DVD's for 50 cents each when our local rental store went out of business. In that group there were some truly awful movies, but "Hooking Up" was by far the worst of the bunch (no contest).

It occurred to me during the painful viewing process that the whole project must be one huge inside joke. The three featured actresses (a term I use loosely in this case) have minimal physical appeal. Given the target audience, it seems inconceivable that such casting choices were unintentional. Perhaps the producers just wanted to get a laugh thinking about the disappointment of anyone who rented this thing for its promised exploitation potential, only to end up with a long episode of "The Animal Planet".

The main reservation I have about this theory is that the DVD has a bunch of features: behind-the-scenes, interviews, deleted scenes, outtakes, etc. In all of this stuff I did not detect the remotest sign of the presence of any intelligent life forms associated with the project.

The other reviews are correct this maybe the worst movie EVER.

I mean lets forget about the weak writing and plot, that could have been made up for. But the acting. I honestly thought I ran into someone's high school film project, and not a GOOD high school film project at that.

Its weird the 3 random "stars" they got in the movie including Dante from Clerks (he sucks in this)

The biggest travesty is Corey Feldman yes 45+ years old Cory playing a 25 year old kid, I assumed he wanted the role to make out with 20 somethings?? I mean really??

With no expectations and seeing the very low rating and the majority of reviews are negative, watched seeing as to how bad it really is. Billed as a sex teen comedy but there is no comedy and the humor with its jokes aren't funny and very forced. You can expect nothing cleverly written with the male teen characters being desperate and the women teen characters being easy. It's an ensemble comedy with the main cast of teen portrayed by actors being relatively unknown with Corey Feldman and Brian O'Halloran (Clerk films) being the most known.

The plot isn't anything special, simply an assortment of characters trying to "hook up" with one another. A lot of double crossing by the girls friends where it seemed like they weren't truly friends. One occasional slightly amusing scene were with the three friends in the library with one woman overhearing their explicit conversations.

The film is watchable for seeing Feldman's rather over the top jerk like character (reminded somewhat of Charlie Sheen or even Adam Scott characters).

Obviously the film is low brow and a major reason for displeasure is considering he's portraying a 25 year old (when he was closer to 40 at the time of filming) while sleeping around with 16 year old high school girls. The very ending to this film was rather depressing and off putting for one character.

No, I'm not a teen (I'm 40+) No,I don't rent films like these to look at hot chicks having simulated sex. But I admit that I like high school comedies when they are close to good. But this isn't a bad copy of American Pie. It's much worse than that. To see Corey Feldman in such an awful film is sad but maybe not that surprising. To see Brian O'Halloran from my old favorite "Clerks" in this is more depressing. I'm not a fan of censorship but there should be some punishment for making films like this one. I would rate it 0 out of 10 if possible, but I give it 1 star because of the hilarious joke that O'Halloran (born 1969) plays a 45 year old dad while Feldman (born 1971) plays a 25 year old hunk.

This looks like a 70's XXX porn movie where people without the budget or the any near approximation of the talent tried to make an actual narrative film and failed miserably. But the target audience didn't really care because, hey, it was porn. Like a porn movie, the actors in this are all WAY too old for the characters they play. Corey Feldman is supposed to be 25, but was about 40. And I'd guess all the "teenagers" are played by actors at least five or ten years older. Like a porno, the characters are all paper thin and the situations so absurd that this doesn't begin to make it as a serious drama. But if it's supposed to be a comedy, it's not funny, and some things are actually pretty damn unfunny (although the people getting offended or saying it should be "illegal" are overreacting a little).

The problem this movie has is it's NOT a porn movie. There are only a few boring boob shots of the three "teenage" actresses. Instead, it just tries to be REALLY outrageous, kind of like "Clerks", but it REALLY makes you appreciate the relative talent of Kevin Smith. Here you just have horribly misfired jokes about anal sex, incest, "virgins" who perform oral sex on everybody, "glory holes", "seagulling" (don't even ask), cocaine, girls being slapped around and called the "c word" that rhymes with "punt", and perhaps worst of all, washed-up 80's child actor Corey Feldman having sex with three different 15-year-old girls (OK, they're obviously not really 15, but still. . .). The other two name actors, Brian O'Halloran and Bronson Pinchot, manage to maintain what little dignity they had to begin with. O'Halloran plays a characters his own age (the school principal) and Pinchot plays a teacher who fends off one of the teenage girls after she slips off her thong after class and tries to seduce him (in an ACTUAL porno movie, she would certainly have succeeded).

This isn't good. It isn't so bad, it's good. But it IS bad in a horrible, slow-motion car crash kind of way. You can't easily look away (as much as you may want to), and you really have to wonder what was possibly go through anyone's mind here. I'd buy the theory of has-been actors and never-will-be filmmakers getting together to lure impressionable young actresses by making a "movie". But why actually put film in the camera? And why foist something on the public that will actually do MORE damage to your completely moribund career? This is SO bad it's actually kind of fascinating in a morbid way.