Kiefer Sutherland credited as playing...
Jack Bauer
- Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer. Who the hell are you?
- Bart Simpson: [thinks of the perfect prank call] I'm, um, Ahmed Adoudi.
- Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoudi. Does somebody know Ahmed Adoudi?
- Chloe O'Brian: Ahmed Adoudi: wealthy Saudi financier, disappeared into Afghanistan in the late '90s.
- Jack Bauer: Really?
- Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack! It's a joke name! You're being set up.
- Jack Bauer: Damn it!
- [he shoots with his gun and Bart laughs hard]
- [last lines]
- [Jack Bauer comes in by dropping in from an air vent]
- Jack Bauer: [in megaphone] Good work, Lisa!
- Bart Simpson: What about me?
- Jack Bauer: [points gun at Bart] Bart Simpson, twelve minutes ago, you made an annoying prank phone call to me. All units move in!
- [a bunch of units move into the gym and they all point guns at Bart, but Bauer puts his away]
- Jack Bauer: I pulled ever single field agent off all other cases to track you down and bring you to justice. It was a tough decision, but I think I made the right call.
- [big explosion happens in the distance, and the crowd gasps]
- Jack Bauer: It's okay. That was Shelbyville.
- [everyone sighs with relief]
- Jack Bauer: The following takes place between 2:34 PM and 3:04 PM. Or maybe it's AM. Whichever one is the morning one; it's not that one.