Tommy: The worlds gone mad. I blame it on the television and all this new cookery crap they put on. It's like Delia and that pillock from Sainsbury's. He was on again last night, he's never off. Cooking up another panful of shite that nobody'll eat, only his bloody mates. I turned over and there's this bunch of nobody's locked in house and we're expected to watch them eat, sleep and talk crap. I wouldn't care but as soon as they say anything interested they put a load of bloody bird noises on. Flicked over again, Pele was on. Ooh, I thought this is alright. Next thing, he's going on about erection problems. I tell you, the whole bloody world's gone mad.
Ken: I thought you'd have been interested in all that, Tommy. I mean, the last time you got a stiffy was the Queen's Silver jubilee when we had beer on in here half price.
Tommy: Aye, it soon went down though when I tasted it.
