Michelle Pfeiffer credited as playing...
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: What do you think of the President?
- Victoria Winters: Never met him.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: What do you think of the war?
- Victoria Winters: I don't watch television.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Do you think the sexes should be equal?
- Victoria Winters: Heavens, no. Men would become quite unmanageable.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: I think we're going to get along fine.
- Barnabas Collins: [holds a fork] I see you have been driven to even sell the prized family silverware.
- Roger Collins: How can you tell? Those are exact replicas.
- Barnabas Collins: Had this been silver, I would have burst into flame at the slightest touch.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Yes, you mentioned that you had a terrible silver allergy.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Children, get away from that man!
- David Collins: He said his name was Barnabas Collins.
- Carolyn Stoddard: And I'm pretty sure he called me a hooker.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: What did you do to my daughter?
- Angelique Bouchard: The family tree needed a little spicing up, so I sent a werewolf to bite her as a child.
- [sees David]
- Angelique Bouchard: Just as I sent David's mother to the bottom of the ocean, rendering him a motherless whelp!
- [turns to Barnabas]
- Angelique Bouchard: And as for you... I killed your parents, and every one of your lovers. They kept us apart.
- Carolyn Stoddard: Leave us alone!
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Carolyn? Carolyn, my God!
- Carolyn Stoddard: I'm a werewolf, okay? Let's not make a big deal out of it.
- Barnabas Collins: Tell me, what do you know of Barnabas Collins?
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Just legends, really. Two centuries ago, a witch turned him into a vampire and locked him away.
- Barnabas Collins: What is known of his death?
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Nothing.
- Barnabas Collins: That, madam, is because he never died. I am Barnabas Collins.
- [reveals a secret passage]
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Then, you...
- Barnabas Collins: I am a vampire, madam. But I am also a Collins, and I swear by all I hold sacred I will not harm anyone under this roof.
- Barnabas Collins: How soon can the horses be ready?
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: We don't have horses, we have a Chevy.
- [Barnabas looks confused]
- David Collins: That's enough. Leave us alone.
- Angelique Bouchard: I think I'll start by killing you, orphan!
- [advances on David]
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: David, run!
- Barnabas Collins: [to Angelique] Your quarrel is with me!
- Angelique Bouchard: My quarrel is with ALL of you!
- Barnabas Collins: I know the body of this house as I do my own. Every brick, every passage...
- [opens a vault to find it filled with macrame]
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: That's where I keep my macrame.
- Barnabas Collins: A disgraceful misuse, madam!
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: His name was Barnabas Collins, and he was the finest man this family ever knew.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: I always thought there was something strange about Angie, but a witch...
- Barnabas Collins: It is she whose hate was so strong she turned me into this hideous creature!
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: No, if she had hated you she would have merely killed you. A curse takes devotion.
- [from trailer]
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Fight on, Barnabas. Fight on for us.
- Barnabas Collins: And fight I shall!
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: [to Victoria] Welcome to Collinwood. You'll have to imagine us on a better day.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: [Barnabas has saved David from being crushed by a falling mirror ball, but is now standing in direct sunlight] Barnabas... you're on fire.
- [Roger leaves Collinwood]
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Where is Dr Hoffman when you need her?
- Barnabas Collins: Indeed.
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Angelique! Get out of my house!
- [fires at Angelique with a shotgun]
- Angelique Bouchard: Your house?
- Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: What have you done to my daughter?
- Angelique Bouchard: Well, Liz, your perfect Collins pedigree lacked a bit of substance so I sent the werewolf that bit Carolyn in her crib.
- [See David]
- Angelique Bouchard: Just like I made David no better than a bastard, when I sent his Mommy to the ocean floor to have tea with the tuna.
- [Turns to Barnabas]
- Angelique Bouchard: And as for you my love, I killed your mother and father. I cursed your family, my Barnabas. They kept us apart, they couldn't see we're the same. We're meant to be.