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Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, Thomas Haden Church, Jamie Foxx, Rhys Ifans, Benedict Cumberbatch, Zendaya, and Tom Holland in Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Review by nimdude

Spider-Man: No Way Home

4/10

We're being force fed sugar and being told its healthy cause it's sweet

I guess anything can pass as good these days as long as the poop gets packaged with a neat ribbon.

I will avoid spoilers besides from what we know from the trailers.

Despite the things that happen in this movie that tingle my 2002-ness, there is nothing beyond that. I cannot believe people are ok with Marvel making every movie a very long and complex sitcom episode, where there is a status quo, it gets broken beyond repair and at the end a magical entity creates a loop in quantum space magic to stop the vortex from spreading into the multiverse and POOF, back to the status quo.

The jokes are cheap, the vfx are cheap (not poorly made, just uncreatively used), the action is dull (apart from the mediocre final fight scene, serviceable) and all of the emotion is coerced out of us through nostalgia bait and just god-awful writing.

I still love Tom Holland, even though he is a vessel for lesser writers, and I liked most performances in this movie, because lets face it, if the vfx, actors, sets, costumes and other technical aspects of a marvel movie are subpar, its unacceptable. Nobody seems to mind the contrived and uncreative writing though.

They disrespected "the bridge villain" and did an ok job respecting the "other bridge villain that comes later". The other villains are bad and don't even get a chance to say anything once their story ends.

Sad attempt at a movie, very very powerful nostalgia bait. I fell for it though, they got me.

I will never forgive myself.
  • nimdude
  • Dec 16, 2021

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