Simon Helberg credited as playing...
Howard Wolowitz
- Wolowitz: Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms. Or hits you with the pepper spray...
- Howard Wolowitz: [Leonard, Sheldon, Howard & Raj are on their laptops playing an online role playing game] All right, just a few more feet and...
- [pause]
- Howard Wolowitz: Here we are gentlemen, the Gates Of Elzebub.
- Sheldon: Good lord!
- Leonard: Don't panic, this is what the last 97 hours have been about.
- Howard Wolowitz: Stay frosty. There's a horde of armed goblins on the other side of that gate guarding the Sword Of Azeroth.
- Leonard: Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands.
- Sheldon: Lock and load.
- Howard Wolowitz: Raj, blow the gates.
- Raj Koothrappali: Blowing the gates.
- [pressing keys]
- Raj Koothrappali: Control, shift, B.
- [sound of the gates blowing]
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh my God, so many goblins!
- Howard Wolowitz: Don't just stand there, slash and move! Slash and move!
- Leonard: Stay in formation!
- Howard Wolowitz: Leonard, you've got one on your tail!
- Leonard: That's all right, my tail's prehensile, I'll swat him off!
- Raj Koothrappali: I got him Leonard. Tonight, I spice my meat with goblin blood!
- Leonard: Raj, no, it's a trap! Thay're flanking us!
- Raj Koothrappali: [in a wimpy tone] Oh, he's got me.
- Howard Wolowitz: Sheldon, he's got Raj, use your sleep spell! Sheldon!
- [changes to an annoyed whisper]
- Howard Wolowitz: Sheldon!
- Sheldon: I've got the Sword Of Azeroth!
- Leonard: Forget the sword Sheldon, help Raj.
- Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon! I am the sword master!
- Howard Wolowitz: Leonard look out!
- Leonard: Damn it man, we're dying here!
- Sheldon: Goodbye peasents.
- Leonard: The bastard teleported.
- Raj Koothrappali: [looks at Sheldon's screen] He's selling the sword of Azeroth on eBay.
- Leonard: You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
- Wolowitz: Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you?
- Sheldon: That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?
- Wolowitz: Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side.
- Sheldon: Uh, let me ask you this: when I learn that I'm a robot, would I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
- Koothrappali: You might be bound by them right now.
- Wolowitz: That's true. Have you ever harmed a human being, or, through inaction, allowed a human being to come to harm?
- Sheldon: Of course not.
- Koothrappali: Have you ever harmed yourself or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would've been endangered?
- Sheldon: Well, no.
- Wolowitz: I smell robot.
- Leonard: I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.
- Wolowitz: Because he looks better than you?
- Leonard: Yeah. He was kind of dreamy.
- Sheldon: Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.
- Wolowitz: There are pitfalls, trust me, I know. When it comes to sexual harassment law I'm bit of a self taught expert.
- Leonard: Look Howard if I were to ask Leslie Winkle out it would just be for dinner. I'm not gonna walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me.
- Wolowitz: Oh, then you're probably OK.