Kunal Nayyar credited as playing...
Raj Koothrappali
- Raj Koothrappali: [at the Cheesecake Factory] Oh, no.
- Howard Wolowitz: What?
- Raj Koothrappali: She didn't take my order.
- Howard Wolowitz: How can she take your order when you're too neurotic to talk to her?
- [first lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: Alright. I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings. We fight the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.
- Howard Wolowitz: Not so fast. Remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, no, no no. Orcs are magic; Superman is vulnerable to magic. Not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.
- Raj Koothrappali: Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?
- Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order?
- Howard Wolowitz: Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu gods against the entire Union army?
- Leonard Hofstadter: And orcs!
- Penny: I'll be back.
- Raj Koothrappali: Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer. When the smoke clears Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.
- Penny: Alright, my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back.
- Howard Wolowitz: Hey, look, it's Dr. Stud.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Doctor what?
- Howard Wolowitz: The blogosphere is a-buzzing with news of you and Leslie Winkle making
- [gibberish noises to imply sexual intercourse]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Wha... how did it get on the Internet?
- Howard Wolowitz: I put it there.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well, how did you know about it?
- Raj Koothrappali: A little bird told us. Apparently you were a magnificent beast.