Jeff Anderson credited as playing...
Deacon
- [after Stacy accidentally shits all over his face]
- Deacon: Can you believe THIS shit? That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!
- Zack: This is just the beginning, guys. If "Star Whores" works and *it will*, we are set up for sequels galore. "The Empire Strikes Ass".
- Miri: "Return of the Brown Eye".
- Deacon: "The Phantom Man Ass".
- Delaney: And "Revenge of the Shit: The All Anal Final Chapter".
- [awkward silence]
- Zack: Okay.
- Delaney: "Revenge of the Shit", you got it?
- Miri: No, yeah we got it.
- Stacey: Ew.
- Delaney: [under his breath] Fuck you, mothafuckas.
- Delaney: [He and Deacon showing Zack the footage they've shot in the porno] Okay, so we got Lester and Stacey fucking. Then we got Barry and Bubbles fucking. And then *this* boring bullshit.
- [shows footage of Zack and Miri making love]
- Zack: [upset, uncomfortable] Okay, just um... go to the next scene, would ya?
- Delaney: [feigning confusion with Deacon] Uh... what next scene?
- Zack: The one with Miri and Lester?
- Deacon: We never shot it.
- Zack: Why not?
- Deacon: Because after you left that night, Miri came out of the back room and said she couldn't do it. We wrapped after that.
- Zack: Wrapped? So... wait, so Miri...
- Delaney: Never fucked nobody. Just you. Now I wonder why she did that...
- Lester: [whispering while Zack & Miri have their romantic sex scene filmed] Deacon. Deacon. Deacon.
- Deacon: What?
- Lester: Did you see Lost this week, man? I missed it. What happened?
- Deacon: Oh, dude. They're on the island, they're off the island. Who could follow that shit?
- Stacey: I think they're in Hell.
- Delaney: [harsh whisper] Would y'all shut the motherfuck up?