Britain's Got Talent

I'm sure the most intelligent of us will have realised by now that not only is this one of the most garbage shows on British television, it's also the fakest, most manipulative and downright cynical shows to ever grace television in general. Search up 'talent shows exposed' on YouTube and you'll see more evidence than you could ever need that this show along with its counterparts (X Factor, The Voice, America's Got Talent etc) should have been axed years ago. I'm more than happy to accept that not everyone will have the same taste as me, but if you still willingly watch this show then you are just as bad as Simon Cowell and the rest of the inhuman producers who run the show. "But it's just a silly family show" which would be fine if anything about it was genuine. At the end of the day it's a glorified reality tv show, none of it is real and to the people who still don't realise this - wake up. You shouldn't be wasting your time watching this trash. Surely you value your time more than this?

Like most people, I get immense pleasure from seeing a child cry. Oh, how I love to watch the tears roll down their little faces! I also love seeing the mentally ill being publicly humiliated - well, who doesn't? Unfortunately, it has become less and less acceptable to seek out and publicly mock infants and the disabled.

Thank God for Britain's Got Talent! Finally, we are free to laugh at the disadvantaged without being shunned by our peers. I literally cannot think of a better Saturday night's television than watching a quartet of millionaires sat behind a desk sneering at the disillusioned, disadvantaged and disturbed. Each episode allows you to cackle with glee as a stream of human beings' hopes and dreams are destroyed in front of the entire nation - what could be more heart-warming than that?

The judges are what really make the show what it is - after all, who could possibly be a better judge of "talent" than Amanda Holden? Her role in that programme about hairdressers is widely regarded as the greatest character portrayal of all time. Presumably the sheer strength of this performance is why we've not seen her act in anything since then.

Simon Cowell is brilliant. I love the way he sneers at the inept auditionees for "wasting his time" - how dare they? I mean, it's not like he gets paid millions for his appearance on the show! And the contestants certainly aren't pre-screened by producers before they're sent out onto the stage!

The star-power of the judging panel has really been upped this year, however, with the addition of Alesha Dixon. Yes, the greatest female artist of the millennium - I'm sure we all remember her smash-hit single "Knockdown" which reached the dizzying heights of number 45 in the UK charts.

Britain's Got Talent does an amazing job of bringing the Victorian 'freak show' concept into the 21st century, and the culture of the UK is truly richer now that we can take pleasure from the humiliation of strangers from the comfort of our own living rooms!

It's impossible to pick up a British tabloid without reading about the newest media star created by this show . I decided to ignore it since it's lumpen nonsense . The panel itself was enough to give the show a miss

Piers Morgan . A former Fleet Street editor of a rag called The Daily Mirror . Morgan's main claim to fame is that he published obviously faked pictures of soldiers " torturing " suspects at a Basra army base . Anywhere else in the world this would have led to him facing charges of treason but after being sacked by the paper his career really took off in a big way . Only in Britain

Amanda Holden . An actress who is famous for being Amanda Holden , which tells you how well she's made a career out of being an actress

Simon Cowell . Okay fair enough

The word talent is very vague . On Britain's Got Talent it seems " talent " is a euphemism of " gimmick " . You got a family pet that can tap dance then have a go on this show . If you're a talented human being who can play an invisible musical instrument or juggle wheelbarrows then audition and you'll be chosen for the semi finals . If you're even less talented than your peers then don't worry because " talent " can be an euphemism for " sob story victim "

Actually this is why the show is so objectionable - it's highly manipulative . Someone comes on and says they've had a close family relative die recently , or they've reached middle age without receiving a french kiss and everyone will fall over themselves to improve the victim's life . Perhaps the worst personification of this was ten year old Hollie Steel bursting in to tears and being told by the producers she's blown her chance . Cue more banshee like wailing from young Hollie that led to Simon saying " I don't know how but we'll find time to give you a second chance . I can see young Hollie having a career as an actress since talent or a lack of it has never stopped Amanda Holden being famous

But this show has nothing to do with anything resembling talent does it ?

I can barely stomach the American version, so I thought I'd check out its progenitor to see if they did things better or with more panache across the Atlantic.

Well, no.

It's the fact that I recognized several actors that appear on imported British shows here in the U.S. that made me laugh and then want to kick the messenger that was my TV for another trash ridden pre-staged show.

Don't believe me? The most glaring example was an actor from Doctor Who whom I saw more than a few days before doing his dance routine on this show, Britain's Got Talent.

Another glaring example was the fat kid and the good looking girl, and, shock of shocks, the fat kid decided not to let his less talented partner go, garnishing much applause from the talent (he said sarcastically).

I'd estimate roughly over half of this show is staged, with the rest being one-shot acts of people who are good at doing one thing, and nothing more, then get their "big shot" on stage, and move on afterwards.

What's worse is that people, apparently mostly girls, eat up this junk. Well, it's far too late for me to warn folks not to watch it, but, on the one in a million chance you haven't seen it, and have stumbled upon my review, do yourself a favor and avoid this thing. OR, if you need a good laugh, then tune in for an episode or two, smirk, then change the channel.

Either way, watch at your own risk.

So some of the 'novelty acts' are getting weeded out but how come there are so many acts that are not British. Korea, Canada, South Africa, Ukraine.

And why is it that I need to write another 300 odd words to get my comment published. I now need 310 characters so I'm gonna blather on until I hit the required number of characters and won't be bothering to post anything incited.

So, in case you've list the plot what this review was about was to complain that there are not so much that there are too many non-British acts bit that there are any at all!

I hand net the required number of characters.

Why not call it 'The World's got Talent.' Ridiculous.