Glenn Howerton credited as playing...
Dennis Reynolds
- Frank Reynolds: Employee evaluation. This bar is a business, and we're gonna start acting like one.
- Mac: Yeah, well, I DON'T want to start acting like a business, 'cause that sounds boring as shit.
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, and this thing's, like, ten pages long, so you know what? I'm not gonna read it.
- Frank Reynolds: Well, then, that's gonna affect your rank!
- Dennis Reynolds: Rank?
- Frank Reynolds: I put us all in a ranking system so you'd all care about your jobs.
- Dennis Reynolds: Are we ranked now?
- Frank Reynolds: Yes, you are.
- Dennis Reynolds: Where am I ranked?
- Frank Reynolds: Second, after me.
- Mac: Wait, what about me?
- Frank Reynolds: You're third.
- Mac: WHAT? Why am I third?
- Frank Reynolds: Too volatile.
- Mac: BULLSHIT! That's BULLSHIT!
- [about the dance 'contest']
- Dee Reynolds: Place, Paddy's Pub. Time, Saturday. Date, with Charlie Kelly. Prize... PADDY'S PUB?
- Dennis Reynolds: Whoa, dude, you put the bar up as a prize?
- Charlie Kelly: No, I listed it in the 'Pride' section, the place where you list what you take pride in.
- Dee Reynolds: That's a 'Z', Charlie!
- Frank Reynolds: Didn't you read that goddamn thing?
- Charlie Kelly: I gave it a once-over!
- Mac: Oh, that's it! Your illiteracy has screwed us again!
- Charlie Kelly: [Rickety Cricket, with a set of high-tech new leg braces, just challenged Mac to a danceoff] You know he's not gonna go down easy.
- Dennis Reynolds: Oh no way, dude. He's fueled by vengeance and reinforced with space-age technology.
- Dennis Reynolds: Tire her out with your spastic movements.
- Mac: I'll tire her out with my awesome movements.
- Gloria: How long have you been a dance instructor?
- Dennis Reynolds: Oh, a long time. Years. Years, in fact.
- Gloria: My fiancé and I, we're not really dancers. We just joined this competition because we both got laid off recently and we really need a fresh start...
- Dennis Reynolds: [interrupting] Right, right, okay, I'm gonna dip you down now, okay? Just stick your knee into my groin...
- Gloria: Okay.
- Dennis Reynolds: Just like that. Grind your hips, and pulse your thighs.
- Dee Reynolds: [about the dance 'contest'] Place, Paddy's Pub. Time, Saturday. Date, with Charlie Kelly. Prize... PADDY'S PUB?
- Dennis Reynolds: Whoa, dude, you put the bar up as a prize?
- Charlie Kelly: No, I listed it in the 'Pride' section, the place where you list what you take pride in.
- Dee Reynolds: That's a 'Z', Charlie!
- Frank Reynolds: Didn't you read that goddamn thing?
- Charlie Kelly: I gave it a once-over!
- Mac: Oh, that's it! Your illiteracy has screwed us again!