Charlie Sheen credited as playing...
Charlie Harper
- Teddy: Charlie, I need you to do me a favor.
- Charlie Harper: Anything for you, Teddy. Name it!
- Teddy: Stay away from Courtney!
- Charlie Harper: Name something else!
- Charlie Harper: So where do they put the engine in these things?
- Courtney: They put it where it belongs: in the rear.
- Alan Harper: Why would you need a Bentley?
- Charlie Harper: Nobody needs a Bentley, just as nobody needs to date a girl half his age. But if you're going to have one, it doesn't hurt to have the other.
- Alan Harper: I'm not taking the fall for you.
- Charlie Harper: When have you ever taken the fall for me?
- Alan Harper: I don't know. But somehow it always works out that whenever you get laid, I get screwed!