The Bulgaria Chainsaw Massacre
Well this movie was not exciting enough to be a train wreck, just more of a migraine, the kind where you feel vaguely like throwing up and just pray for the noise to stop.
Shot in Bulgaria with a cast that is basically what you get when you try to get Hollywood actors in Bulgaria on a Netflix budget, and bogged down by off-the-shelf suspense music, an apparently nonexistent script and every ham-handed horror trope in the book, it's the kind of movie where everything is noticeably off, right down to hair and wardrobe.
It is no small wonder the original directors bailed a week into filming. The replacement director is a pony tail guy who makes energy drink commercials for a living. An energy drink is actually a good idea if you want to stay awake through this flick as it's a full 49 minutes into the 81 running time before a single chainsaw gets fired up.
There is not much entertainment to be had here unless you might get a kick out of watching a busload of Austin hipsters getting sawed on, but that's hardly worth sitting through an hour of snores for. Go watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) instead, it's the only really good one out of the franchise.
And by the way, no... Bulgaria does not look like Texas, at all. Of course it doesn't.
Shot in Bulgaria with a cast that is basically what you get when you try to get Hollywood actors in Bulgaria on a Netflix budget, and bogged down by off-the-shelf suspense music, an apparently nonexistent script and every ham-handed horror trope in the book, it's the kind of movie where everything is noticeably off, right down to hair and wardrobe.
It is no small wonder the original directors bailed a week into filming. The replacement director is a pony tail guy who makes energy drink commercials for a living. An energy drink is actually a good idea if you want to stay awake through this flick as it's a full 49 minutes into the 81 running time before a single chainsaw gets fired up.
There is not much entertainment to be had here unless you might get a kick out of watching a busload of Austin hipsters getting sawed on, but that's hardly worth sitting through an hour of snores for. Go watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) instead, it's the only really good one out of the franchise.
And by the way, no... Bulgaria does not look like Texas, at all. Of course it doesn't.
- orangehenryviii
- Feb 19, 2022