Anne Heche credited as playing...
Samantha
- Samantha: [In midst of a fight because Nikki wants to move out] Let me tell you something. You are getting older. You're losing your looks. And you're only charming 'cause you're cute. You're not really charming. You're not funny. And you're not smart. I hope you understand that. You're nothing but six inches and a pretty face and you're gonna have to suffer just like everybody else.
- Nikki: It's seven.
- Samantha: It's not seven.
- [She then walks up and slaps him very hard... twice]
- Nikki: [after having scoped out the club and giving the audience the scoop on all the fine young things he spies that he's already slept with] But tonight I'm not looking for the tight skin of a 20-year old. I'm in need of assiduation and that changes the game.
- [He spies Samantha]
- Nikki: Ah... here we go. The jacket's Dolce, the jeans are by Helmut Lang and the complexion comes from a strict regimen of facials. I'm guessing she drives a Mercedes. By the way, there's only one pick-up line. Everything else is cheese.
- [Following her and not longer speak to the audience]
- Nikki: Hi. What's your name?
- Samantha: [Continuing to walk towards the door] Samantha.
- Nikki: Hi, Samantha. I'm Nikki.
- Samantha: [Flattered, but shaking her head] I'm leaving.
- Nikki: Really? Why?
- Samantha: It's late.
- Nikki: You're right. We should get going. So wait a second. You had dinner here? What'd you have?
- Samantha: I had a salad.
- Nikki: What kind of salad?
- Samantha: A Greek salad.
- Nikki: You had a Greek salad at a French restaurant? I like that. Oh. Valet, huh? I bet you're a bad driver. You want me to drive? I'll flip you for it. Here. Heads, I drive; tails, you drive. There it is.
- Samantha: It's tails. You flipped it.
- Nikki: Well, you always flip it. Don't be a sore loser.
- Samantha: Look, you're cute and everything, but you're not coming home with me. Thank you.
- [She gives her ticket to the valet attendant as they reach the sidewalk outside]
- Nikki: You're gonna have to do better than that. "You're cute and everything"? What's is that?
- Samantha: I was trying not to be rude.
- Nikki: You're far from rude.
- Samantha: Awww.
- Nikki: I'll help you out. Tell me you're married.
- Samantha: I am not married. That would be a lie.
- Nikki: You're not. Tell me that you're madly in love with someone.
- Samantha: That would also be a lie.
- Nikki: Mm-hmm. Then tell me why I can't come home with you?
- Nikki: [She laughs and he then the bends in for a kiss which she accepts. We see the valet bringing her car up. Cut to the two of them in her car. He the speaks to the audience again] Roll the windows down, turn the music up and make an ass of yourself. It puts them at ease.