Baby on Board

GOD AWFUL. This movies is the the kind of crap actors make when they are first starting out, not when they are established. I have NO IDEA how big name actors ended up in the trite mishmash of misogynistic stereotypes. Laura Flynn Boyle looks like a poster child for cosmetic interventions gone awry. The other actors are decent in their roles since they are fairly good in most anything, but the dialog is contrived, the plot reminiscent of fraternity flicks, and the overall affect is just plain embarrassing for all involved. All I can figure is that some body made a deal with the devil or the script changed considerably after the stars signed on. No distributor was willing to take it on, so Baby on Board had only limited release. No doubt based on its star power, DVD showings will be better, but this film is not even worth your basic veg out in front of the TV trial.

I am a fan of Heather Graham, but this movie .... It is even worse than the universally panned "Say it Isn't So", which, apart from the great Sally Fields was bad even for a straight-to-DVD film. How come HG can't choose a good film ? Fart 'jokes', puke gross-out 'gags' and the like should indicate a bad script. She can be a really great actress when she wishes; does she not wish ? The premise is HG's character ( "character" ) has to market a new perfume designed for pregnant women. The usual tales of unfaithful husbands, pregnancies, and work mishaps ensue for our heroine, the 'best friend', and the inevitable gay friend. Oh dear. I would call it juvenile, but even juveniles would not find anything to take home. I give this a 2 since it has Heather Graham in it. Otherwise it would be in negative numbers.

This is the first movie in my life that I could not watch to the end. All the actors must have been horrified when they saw the thing finished, if they could bring themselves to watch it. I know it has been said that no body sets out to make a bad movie, but if they did...this would be it. The dialogue does not sound like any living people I've ever listened too. The crudeness of the sexual jokes were on a level so creepy that we needed to have the living room fumigated and blessed after taking the DVD out of the house. Heather Graham works so hard with this disgusting script that she deserves some kind of award but mostly she needs therapy to answer the question,"what were you thinking?" Just awful, don't even try to see this movie.

I just watched this on Nflix, and now I know why I had never heard of this movie before. The atrocities against celluloid started with the opening credits/graphics, and never got any better. I can appreciate low brow humor when it's actually funny, and this just wasn't. I don't mean in an "I don't get it" kind of way, or "eww that's just gross!". I can appreciate gross, obscene, bathroom humor, whatever- when it's done by someone who knows how. All I can say is: Heather, Jerry, John-- why? why??? Never have so many of my favorite actors so completely crushed my hopes for a decent film. If you are in a Clockwork Orange-type situation and someone ties you down, forcing you to watch it, beg for mercy and have them forward to the outtakes. That at least won't make you retch so badly.

I just don't know what studio people are thinking when agree to make something like this. The general storyline has been done 100 times.. you know, philandering men, women who are insecure, dysfunctional relationships, an upstart in the office waiting for her big break, lots of cursing and bad sex jokes, seductive goldigger wives, divorce court drama, etc.

But this film was even worse than it sounds. I can usually watch almost anything, even total c grade junk. But this looked like even the players were in pain trying to say their lines. Lara Flynn Boyle looked more botoxed out than Joan Rivers, the men in it are all snakes and liars, everyone is cheating on everyone, and not one line is funny. The fart jokes are even horrible (which is pretty hard to screw those up) All in all, this was another horrible waste of perfectly good celluloid. Not sure what Heather Graham was thinking here either, as she has now added to her list of atrocious films.