Zone of the Dead

The good thing about zombie films is that they're inherently entertaining. Even the really poor ones are often unintentionally amusing, like Bruno Mattei's hopeless Italian efforts. So when it came to watching APOCALYPSE OF THE DEAD, a retitled version of the 2009 film ZONE OF THE DEAD, I was in high spirits. I knew that it was a cheap and cheerful B-movie, I wasn't expecting too much from it, and I was fully prepared to disengage my brain and have a good time.

It's worth noting that this is Serbia's first zombie film, although don't let that excite you too much; as with much foreign fare these days, it's content to rip-off American content, inevitably in this case Romero's dead trilogy (which is referenced at numerous points in the narrative). In case the similarities weren't strong enough already, the producers also cast DAWN OF THE DEAD's Ken Foree in a leading role here. I have a lot of goodwill towards Foree for his role in that movie, so I was even more interested in watching this as the credits rolled.

It's not really surprising that this film doesn't turn out to be very good at all. It's a classic B-movie in the sense that everything that takes place is familiar from other, better productions; one film that's content to rip-off rather than try its hand at something more original. The story of a zombie outbreak is told on the cheap, as a group of rather uninteresting characters barricade themselves inside a police station and try to figure out what to do about the ravenous creatures outside.

Sadly, the predictable storyline is made worse by the two directors, who seem unable to give their film any suspense or real drive. Time and again they have long, drawn-out conversations take place between people while zombies approach in the background. Now, in an effective zombie film, everything would be about the potential menace and the need to get away as quickly as possible from the threat, but here the characters chat away as if they haven't got a care in the world. It makes for boring viewing.

The performances are pretty much what you'd expect from an ultra-cheap film of this sort, the characterisation is half-hearted and unrealistic, and the joke-shop effects aren't really worth writing home about either. The film also feels rather restrained, despite one or two unpleasant moments, and even Foree himself isn't very good; he seems tired and subdued, and he isn't a patch on the menacing character he played in Romero's movie. You feel sorry for him, in a way, for wasting his time appearing in such instantly forgettable dreck.

OK, I get it: zombie movies don't need great acting, or a good story or decent camera work to be watchable or entertaining. But what we have here is some of the worst examples of all of the above. Really terrible doesn't even describe it, because it still leaves open the possibility of this movie being truly bad, yet somehow fun. However, "Zone of the Dead" is as much fun as a visit to the dentist. A drunken dentist, that is.

I wish it had one redeemable quality worth mentioning. Even Foree is awful in this one, not to mention the rest of the wooden protagonists. Don't waste your time.

I'm not sure if this even counts as a review, but I'm a hardcore zombie flick fan. If its been made and it has zombies in it, chances are I own it. So I've come across my fair share of low budget movies and cheesy acting in my time, but absolutely nothing compares to this film.

Straight up, I couldn't sit through the whole film. The acting is so wooden, and the dialogue is so forced, that watching it seems like you're indulging children putting on a once-rehearsed play. Apparently it was translated from Serbian by a brain-damaged hamster. The average guy on the street could give a better performance than almost every single member of the cast, with a few "yeah okay" exceptions.

If you're a fan of zombie movies, don't rent or buy this piece of crap. It scores nil on all draws. I give it ten severed thumbs down.

Firstly the good news. Ken Foree is an absolute legend and it's great to see him returning to the zombie horror genre.

And now for the bad news, which is absolutely everything else. Having read some good reviews on this film, I decided to give it a go as I'm a big fan of zombie flicks even bad ones. It isn't often that I can't watch a film to the end (The Country Bears being the last one - I even made it through the Squeakquel) but at the half way mark I felt like eating my own head. Around two thirds of the way through I couldn't take any more and fast forwarded through the rest, stopping every so often to see if it improved. It didn't.

Allow me to list off some of the things that made this the worst movie I have ever seen.

1. The dubbing. At least I hope it was all dubbed. If these idiots really speak like this, they should all be shot.

2. The acting. OMG! Where did they get these muppets from? Everything was wrong and I do realise that zombie movies rarely get Oscar nominations. The body language was completely wooden - not one person (including Ken) managed to look like they really were in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. They looked like they were taking part in a primary school play and a bad one at that.

3. The plot. Seems like the same terrible primary school did the screen writing as well. If you were responsible for the script then you should be ashamed. Never, ever write anything again. I mean it. Put the pen down. Bite your fingers off. You'll be doing us all a favour.

If I can prevent one person from ever having to go through watching this drivel, then I can rest easy knowing my sacrifice wasn't in vain.

You've been warned...

This movie is a fun, popcorn flick. It's not the best zombie movie ever made, not by a long shot, but I had a great time watching it.

Ken Foree (from the original Romero's Dawn of the Dead) is one of my favorite horror actors. I will watch anything starring Foree, and he does not disappoint here. This is his movie - all the way. And I liked Kristina Klebe very much as well - she's very good with the shotgun.

The other actors are in the movie for the body-count, but this is a zombie movie after all - we need to have some victims, don't we? The death of Yovana (Iskra Brajovic) was the best kill in the movie, Miroslav Lakobrija's special effects are top notch considering the budget.

A must see for all zombie fans out there.

3/5