Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña credited as playing...
Self
- Crew Member: You think Knoxville's gonna catch the ball?
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: Nope.
- Bam Margera: Nooo.
- Ryan Dunn: Who gives a shit?
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: [as a portable toilet explodes and covers Dunn with blue sludge] No fucking way!
- Johnny Knoxville: I am so happy right now.
- Ryan Dunn: Dude, that thing *goes*.
- Preston Lacy: [approaching a random pedestrian] Hey buddy, would you mind watching my dog for a second while I run right in there? Thanks man, I'll be right back.
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: [he goes into the store and disappears, Wee Man exits wearing the same clothes] Thanks bud, thank you very much for watching my dog.
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: How's Santa doing?
- Johnny Knoxville: [climbing tall tree, dressed as Santa] Santa's fucking tired.
- Johnny Knoxville: [after gluing Wee-Man to Preston] 2 minutes.
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: 2 minutes is the longest 69 I've ever fucking done!
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: [Wee Man is about to be glued to Preston in a 69 position] Man, we're really gonna be bros now.
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: [direct end result of using super mighty glue] Look at my fucking nipple! My fucking armpit kills!
- Stevie Lee: Who the fuck are you?
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: Who are you?
- Stevie Lee: I'm her fricken boyfriend, asshole!
- Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña: That's cool, bud. I'm her man-friend.