Cher credited as playing...
- Tess: [upon seeing a nauseous Georgia emerge from the bathroom stall] Oh, God, Georgia. Tell me you don't have the flu.
- [Georgia shakes her head and starts crying]
- Tess: Oh no... please have the flu!
- Sean: [talking about the money Tess needs to save the club] It's just money. It's just a number.
- Tess: I know, but... do you think I could do it?
- [Sean shakes his head]
- Tess: Tell me a lie.
- Sean: I need your expert sewing skills.
- Tess: Tell me a *new* lie.
- Sean: I don't love you.
- Tess: They'll come to hear HER sing.
- Vince: Have you read this letter from the bank?
- Tess: Vincent. How many times have I told you? No business during business hours.
- Tess: He didn't even look me in the eye! He just sat there playing with his wooden thingy on his desk.
- Sean: What thingy?
- Tess: The long wooden block thingy.
- Sean: The nameplate?
- Tess: Yeah. Nameplate.
- Tess: You didn't tell me you could sing like that!
- Tess: [Ali is auditioning] Hey Dave, cut it.
- Ali Rose: H-hold on a second, I can do this!
- Tess: And I think that it's sweet that you think that you can.
- Vince: I may not be "Mr. Tess" anymore, but I still own half this place.
- Tess: Mr. Tess?
- [pause]
- Tess: That is *so* hot.
- Vince: Nice. But it won't pay the bills.
- Sean: [talking about Ali's audition] Well, I couldn't keep my eyes off her.
- Tess: Try harder.
- Vince: This isn't going away. You won't talk to me before the show, you won't talk to me after the show. It's like you're avoiding me.
- Tess: Well, I didn't divorce you to spend more time with you.
- Nikki: [Waiting for Tess as she is exiting the club] Tess, we need to talk.
- Tess: No.
- Nikki: Yes!
- Tess: I'm tired, Nikki.
- Nikki: Well, then you can just listen. We built this club together and, and then, some girl just shows up from out of nowhere, who hasn't even paid her dues - -!
- Tess: How do you know what dues she's paid? This chick doesn't sing that way because she's had it easy.
- Nikki: "They don't come to here us sing, Nikki"! Or... or, or, is that... is that just bullshit, now?
- Tess: You know, you're drunk. Go inside and call a cab.
- Nikki: I WILL NOT BE UPSTAGED BY SOME SLUT WITH MUTANT LUNGS!
- Tess: Then leave!
- Nikki: [Gasps] You'd ruin our friendship over some girl you barely know? So much for loyalty!
- Tess: Since when did you know anything about loyalty? How many Goddamn times have I peeled you off the sidewalk? How many blackouts? How many times have I held your head over the toilet bowl while you threw up everything, but your memories?
- Nikki: OKAY FINE! But I will not stand in the back, Tess, you need to fix this-...
- Tess: You think you're my only problem? I'm about to lose my club! I'm about to lose the only thing that means anything to me! I have more to worry about than trying to keep you from pouring Tequila on your Cheerios!
- Nikki: Fine. Fine. I QUIT!
- Tess: I'm glad!
- [Nikki gets into her car and starts the engine]
- Tess: Nikki, don't drive.
- Nikki: By the way, I slept with Vince the night after your honeymoon.
- [She makes a U-Turn and begins driving off in a rage, with Tess bashing Nikki's backdoor window with a crowbar]
- Nikki: YOU CRAZY BITCH!
- Tess: And don't ever go behind my back again.
- Ali Rose: Yes, ma'am.
- Tess: And don't ever call me ma'am again.
- Ali Rose: Yes, sir. Errr... I mean, ma'am... I mean, Tess.
- Tess: Get on the floor.
- [to Sean]
- Tess: "Ma'am"? What am I, my mother?
- Sean: Yes, ma'am.
- Tess: Up yours.
- Marcus: You know, not that I give a shit, but why is it that you want my club so badly?
- Marcus: I like it. When I see something I like, I have to have it. Been that way since I was a kid.
- Tess: That must have made you very popular in the sandbox.
- Marcus: [grins] I did okay.
- Vince: Do you know what you could do with that money, Tess?
- Tess: Do you know what *you* could do with that money, Vince?
- Vince: Not now...
- Tess: Don't "not now" me.
- Marcus: Remember, you got that balloon payment due on the first.
- Tess: [annoyed, to Vince] Did you also tell him I have a tattoo on my ass?
- Vince: [earnestly] No... it's business.
- Marcus: I don't think you're gonna get another opportunity like this. So take it.
- Tess: [after some contemplation, then firmly] No.
- Vince: [quickly, to Marcus] She means not now.
- Tess: No, no. "Not now" means not now, Vince. "No" means no. Marcus, I don't care what you're offering. My club is not for sale.
