Will Adamsdale credited as playing...
News John
- Angus: The way I look at it, the world couldn't survive without my comedy, and who's going to have the moral backbone to play the Seekers when the mood is right?
- Dave: They've split up.
- Angus: I intend to celebrate the back catalogue.
- Dave: I intend to stop you doing so.
- Mark: [silently stands up and lights a cigarette]
- Simon: As some of you know, my wife left me after 17 hours of marriage, but I survived that because I live for music. And now, with nothing else to live for, I'm willing to die for it as well.
- 'On-The-Hour' John: I've always lived for news and weather. Happy to die for them, too. Especially the weather.
- Bob Silver 'the Dawn Treader': I've got nowhere else to go.
- Harold: I have somewhere else to go, but it's Peckham. So I think I'll stick around.
- Felicity: Can't let everyone starve. And I'm slightly worried where my increasingly powerful sexuality will take me when I return to normal life.
- Thick Kevin: I've got a very strong suspicion that Felicity fancies me. Not about to go anywhere, just when I'm in with a chance.
- 'Young' Carl: Obviously, I'm in. You're the only people in the world who like me.