Charlie Day credited as playing...
Charlie Kelly
- Charlie Kelly: Oh, you know, I told you. I asked for more money.
- Dee Reynolds: What?
- Charlie Kelly: Yes, I did!
- Dee Reynolds: No, you didn't!
- Charlie Kelly: I was using dead presidents as a cover. You didn't get that?
- Dee Reynolds: He said to the man, he wanted many, many thousands of green people from history times.
- Charlie Kelly: Absolutely, I hear you! We're saying we're gonna do the drugs and then we're gonna try and fix all the lights...
- Dennis Reynolds: That's asinine!
- Charlie Kelly: Hey, Bingo. Frank sent us.
- Bingo: Frank, huh? I'm gonna skin that son of a bitch and wear his face.
- Charlie Kelly: It's a one-time flip. We'll go to your - that shady guy, Bingo, that you know. We'll say, "Here's a pile of drugs. Give us some money." And then...
- Frank Reynolds: Uh-huh. Oh, no, no, no. You don't go to Bingo. Bingo is my contact.
- Dennis Reynolds: Oh my God, we are so screwed. How are we going to get $25,000 by Friday?
- Frank Reynolds: Don't look at me. You made this bed; you're sleeping in it. This is a life lesson for you.
- Dennis Reynolds: Frank, this is not the time to be throwing down life lessons, alright? We are going to get whacked off by a bunch of scary Italian guys.
- Charlie Kelly: Did they say they were going to whack us off?
- Dennis Reynolds: They implied they wanted to whack us all off!
- Dee Reynolds: Nobody's gonna get whacked off today, okay? Listen: we're gonna take the money, we'll go get our drugs back from Bingo, we'll give it to the mob, and we'll pretend none of this ever happened.
- Dee Reynolds: [drops a bag of Oxycontin on the pool table] Boom.
- Frank Reynolds: What am I supposed to do with that?
- Mac: You tell us.
- Charlie Kelly: Bingo told us you know how to sell those drugs.
- Frank Reynolds: I told you not to involve me in that! Did you mention my name?
- Dennis Reynolds: First thing we did.
- Dee Reynolds: You gonna harp on it all day?
- Frank Reynolds: Goddammit! The guy's gonna skin me alive.
- Charlie Kelly: He is gonna skin you alive.
- Dee Reynolds: Yeah, he mentioned something about it.
- Dennis Reynolds: Will you just pay the mob off so we don't have to sell these pills?
- Frank Reynolds: Dennis, I am not using any more of my money!
- Dennis Reynolds: The mob is gonna kill us, man!
- Frank Reynolds: Look, if I cave on this, I'm gonna be bailing you guys out for the rest of my life. I'm putting my foot down on this one. You bitches gotta earn your own money!
- Mac: Frank, you are gonna get us into that country club you used to belong to and we're gonna sell the pills there.
- Dennis Reynolds: That'd be a good place to sell those pills.
- Mac: Yes, thank you very much.
- Frank Reynolds: You can't make no $25,000 from that amount of pills. How long you got?
- Mac: 'til Friday.
- Frank Reynolds: Mm-mmm. You're gonna have to turn a trick or two; go into prostitution.
- Dee Reynolds: You are disgusting! How could you suggest - I am absolutely not doing that!
- Frank Reynolds: I wasn't talking about you. Guys at those country clubs get hotter broads than you.
- Dennis Reynolds: I would think, yeah.
- Mac: Yeah.
- Frank Reynolds: I was saying the male escort is really hard to come by.
- Charlie Kelly: I'm picking up what you're putting down. I'll do it.
- Frank Reynolds: Eh, Charlie, you're not quite cut from the right cloth.
- Mac: Okay. Make it me.
- Frank Reynolds: Mac, you're too low class. All those women are gonna thing they're gonna catch somethin' from you.
- Mac: They are.
- Dennis Reynolds: They will.
- Frank Reynolds: I was thinking about Dennis.
- Dennis Reynolds: Right. Now, Frank, will any of these women be attractive in any way?
- Frank Reynolds: Probably not.