Alec Baldwin credited as playing...
Jack Donaghy
- Angie Jordan: So let me get this straight. If I sign this and Tracy decides to run away with that chunky chick from "Hairspray"...
- Jack Donaghy: Or any female of equivalent thickness.
- Angie Jordan: ...then I get $8,500?
- Jack Donaghy: That's correct.
- Jack Donaghy: The U.N.? They still have that? I could've sworn they turned it into a Barnes and Noble.
- Stewart: Like you guys in corporate America are doing any better? Have you learned how to say "do you want fries with that" in Chinese?
- Jack Donaghy: [shakes hand] Jack Donaghy, Senior V.P. for television and microwave oven programming.
- Stewart: Stewart LaGrange, U. N. High Commissioner on Water Temperature and Food Taint.
- Jenna Maroney: Howdy, Jack! It's me, Janis Joplin! And I want to audition for my Sheinhardt-Universal biopic so bad that I came here dressed as me. Actually I am me. So well, I dressed normal. But my friend, Jenna Maroney, she should be my understudy. I mean, she should audition for me. But I'm me now actually.
- Jack Donaghy: Ongoing train wreck aside, I love this idea. It's great synergy. By putting a TV actress into the movie world, we can promote both. It's like we're including a Heroes DVD with every missile guidance system we sell. I'll call the studio.
- Jenna Maroney: I'm so glad that I time-traveled here from 1969. What is that iron bird?
- Jack Donaghy: They had airplanes in the '60s, Jenna.
- Jack Donaghy: It's 7:00. Why don't I hear my mother yelling "Go home!" to the Asian contestant on "Jeopardy"?