Top Gear Australia

Gad, what an abomination. They hold an open casting call, creating the impression they're actually looking for good presenters, and instead they overlook all presenting ability and go for 3 dreary motoring columnists with all the wit and charm of Peter Lorre and all the dashing good looks of George Formby. Where was the humour? All we got was three ill-at-ease middle aged twits with no personality hooning around on some sand dunes, pretending to enjoy themselves and guffawing hysterically at every whimsical comment. How about Charlie explaining the technical details of a car's transmission by doodling a diagram in the dirt? I mean really, does your average Top Gear fan give a Peter Luck how the car works? And what exactly was the point of the shark stunt, and what did it have to do with cars?? About the only joke I can recall from the entire show was some nauseatingly unfunny quip about Victoria Police "busting a cap in someone's ass", which was followed by a round of self-congratulation and an appeal to the bemused audience for applause. Oh and of course there was the obligatory attempt to imitate some of Clarkson's outspokenness, by taking a cheap and unfunny shot at the government over their luxury car tax.

Maybe if they'd tried to do something a bit different, rather than just imitating all the personality traits of the original hosts, it might not have looked so bad. As it is, they look like really bad Cliff Richard impersonators in an Elvis impersonator's competition. The bloke who plays Richard Hammond, Steve Pizzati, got on my nerves too. I can only imagine how grating that whiny soprano and irritating cackle will be by the end of the series.

I was actually considering auditioning for the James May role when they had the casting call, but I wouldn't have gotten it as I'm way too funny.

I'm sure the BBC execs are sharpening their axe as I type. It's rather amusing that the only original segment was titled What Were They Thinking, as it summed up my reaction to the BBC's decision to commission this steaming pile.

After just having watched the inaugural episode of Top Gear Australia I must say: It wasn't bad.....for a start. However, it could have been MUCH better: And here's why.

First Point: Why not start with the comparison between the FPV F6 and the HSV GTS (I think it was the GTS) and BLOW us all away??? Ohhhhhh what an opener that could have been!!!!!! And oh what a letdown it was settling for a soft roader comparison instead (I know these cars are popular with us Australians, but so are our TITANIC battles between Ford and Holden)!!!! I feel slightly ripped off having had SBS play scenes from the F6-GTS comparison only to have Cox announce 'what you've all been waiting for' will appear next week (And yes you can bet I'll be watching next week).

Second point: The comparison between the soft roaders....was it a comparison or just 3 dudes having a play? There was no discussion at the end of the comparison between the three hosts as to which car won the day....even if the hosts do end up disagreeing at the end it's still nice to know.

Third Point: The Franchise. Yes Top Gear is borrowed from the UK version, and it needs to follow a certain formula. But there is no way in hell that Charlie Cox, Warren Brown, and Steve Pizzati can be expected to manufacture the sheer charisma that their Top Gear opposites in the UK have. They need to be left alone to create something of their own. Jeremy Clarkson, James May, and Richard Hammond have this truly wonderful-to-watch magic style of their own that should not be attempted to be replicated as I saw in Top Gear Aus: Just won't work, the Aussie hosts will just end up looking like clunky fools, and the show will be ridiculed. Charlie Cox should not be billed as Australia's version of Jeremy Clarkson, there can only be one Clarkson. Warren Brown should not be billed as Australia's version of James May, there can only be one May. And Steve Pizzati...I didn't get the feeling the show was trying to manipulate him into being an Aussie Richard Hammond as much as the other two were. I had the fortunate opportunity to see Warren Brown compete in a Peking to Paris drive, recreating a trek that was made at the turn of the 20th century. He was brilliant in that, so I suspect that if allowed, these Australian hosts are capable of coming up with a magic of their own.

Forth point: The test track. The camera angles were bad, I didn't get a feel for how the cars were responding to the turns or get a feeling for just how quick they were racing around the track (The Skyline didn't look as quick as it so obviously was), the track didn't seem long enough, and it all seemed like a bit of a blur.

Fifth point: Weren't you lot hamming it up a bit with the chop up and pasting of footage when you dipped Brown into the sea with those sharks? It was crap! That entire part of the show wasn't as scary as it could have been. I think it's fair to say.....you lot made a meal outta that one :P

Conclusion: Top Gear Australia has a lot of work to be done to it to get it rolling smoothly, mainly camera work on moving car footage around that track, the track itself should be slightly longer, hosts need to be left to develop a personality of their own, but all in all, it passed..only just!

The presenters are just not funny. The main guy is OK but the other two are just terrible. They they speak they try way to hard to be cool as if they are better than the UK crew. They are horribly wrong. The worst thing about them is that they THINK they are funny. They laugh at the littlest things they do. While the rest of us are sitting there with our pet crickets.

Now on to the show itself, too much budget went into this show you can tell by the way the presenters do the test driving and challenges. Every time they do the doughnut burning those tires it makes me want to weep. Every time they crash a nice new car into something, my heart tightens. They have absolutely no respect for the cars they drive.

AND They almost always use new cars in their challenges which IMO is stupid. 80% of my love for Top Gear IS their old junk challenges. Top Gear Australia is a huge disappointment. Major modifications needed.

My review is based on TG Australia First Season.

The first thing that sprung to mind within the first couple of minutes while watching this was that the program was trying way to hard to impress Top Gear fans. I mean sure, it is a daunting task to take on the duty and try to outdo the fabulous UK version but please! enough already.

The problem is that nothing was fresh, inventive. There was no new material, no new sets and no new personalities that would've, obviously, added much needed variety to the Australian show. It seems the BBC have tried to fool the public into believing that the great Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond can be easily replaced by a bunch of dull gits and everything would be great. How wrong they were! Where was the Australian wit? The individuality? The humour?! *Yawn* B-O-R-I-N-G. The segments were pathetic and over dramatized and for the love of God, shut Steve Pizzati up! Put us out of our misery BBC and run this down with a Geewiz and bring back the UK Top Gear pronto!

I've stuck to the CHM era of Top Gear pretty much my whole life, thinking every other variation or era of the show simply wasn't good. True for the most part, but after giving the 2024 reboot of Top Gear Australia a chance, I'd say it comes fairly close to the old Top Gear we love. That's not to say it's perfect, it still has some faults, but for what it is it's pretty entertaining. My only real complaint so far is how the humour is sometimes, not all of the time, a little forced feeling. But not every joke comes off that way, so it doesn't derail the program like some of the Evans era humour does.

I don't think Top Gear Australia can serve as a full replacement for classic TG. That show was unbeatable lightning in a bottle. But as a new, fresh edition of an old format, it's pretty alright. Fun to watch alongside the oldies or for something a little different.