Simon Helberg credited as playing...
Howard Wolowitz
- Penny: [about the website Leonard designed for Penny's business] It seems a little juvenile. It looks like the MySpace page of a thirteen year-old girl.
- Leonard Hofstadter: No it doesn't!
- Howard Wolowitz: Dateline could use it to attract predators.
- [Leonard, Howard, and Raj are playing "Secret Agent LASER Obstacle Chess"]
- Howard Wolowitz: Hey! You know what would be a great idea? We get some girls over here and play LASER obstacle strip chess.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Believe me, Howard, any girl who would be willing to play that you don't want to see naked.
- Howard Wolowitz: You underestimate me.
- Howard Wolowitz: Leonard died again, Sheldon. You're up.
- Sheldon Cooper: Despite my deep love of chess, lasers, and aerosol disinfectant, I must forfeit.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Why?
- Sheldon Cooper: Because it's almost 11:00.
- Leonard Hofstadter: So?
- Sheldon Cooper: So Penny has a "don't knock on my door before 11:00 or I punch you in the throat" rule.
- Sheldon Cooper: Camouflaging bald spots is primarily a male concern. Perhaps we could expand our market.
- Penny: How are flower barrettes gonna appeal to men?
- Howard Wolowitz: We add Bluetooth!
- Sheldon Cooper: Brilliant! Men love Bluetooth!
- Penny: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You want to make a hair barrette with Bluetooth?
- Sheldon Cooper: Penny - Everything is better with Bluetooth.
- Sheldon Cooper: Before we set up a marketing and distribution infrastructure, we should finish optimizing the manufacturing process. To start with, she has a terrible problem with moisture-induced glitter clump.
- Penny: Yeah, it's a bitch!
- Howard Wolowitz: [Inspecting bottle of glitter] Ah, I've seen this before.
- Penny: Where?
- Howard Wolowitz: It's a common stripper problem: they dance, they sweat, they clump.
- Penny: Eww.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Are you thinking of adding a desiccant like calcium sulfate?
- Howard Wolowitz: Actually, I'm thinking about this one stripper named Vega.
- Penny: How the hell are we gonna make a thousand Penny Blossoms
- [Penny's hair product]
- Penny: in one day?... I'm gonna have to call them and cancel that order.
- Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, but was this not your goal? Financial independence through entrepreneurial brilliance and innovation? My brilliance and innovation, of course, but still.
- Penny: I just don't see how we can pull this off.
- Sheldon Cooper: That, right there! That equivocation and self-doubt. That is not the American spirit. Did Davy Crockett quit at the Alamo? Did Jim Bowie?
- Howard Wolowitz: They didn't give up, they were massacred! By like a gazillion angry Mexicans!