Jim Parsons credited as playing...
Sheldon Cooper
- Sheldon: You know, Penny, there is something that occurs in beehives that you might find interesting. Occasionally a new queen bee will arrive while the old queen is still in power. When this happens, the old queen must either locate to a new hive or engage in a battle to the death until only one queen remains.
- Penny: What are you saying? That I'm threatened by Alicia, that I'm like the old queen of the hive and it's just time for me to go?
- Sheldon: I'm just taking about bees. They're on the Discovery Channel. What are you talking about?
- Penny: Okay, honey, did you even know the people that are moving out?
- Sheldon: I've never met them, that's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls, there's no clickety-clacking of high-heeled shoes on hardwood floors... they may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape... and without that annoying ammonia urine smell.
- Penny: Well, I'm sure the new people will be just as quiet.
- Sheldon: You can't know that! How can you possibly know that?
- Penny: You're right, I can't. You know what, anyone could rent that apartment now. An opera singer, the cast of Stomp... yeah, a tap dancing pirate with a wooden leg.
- Leonard: Why are you making it worse?
- Penny: I tried making it better, he wouldn't go for it.
- Penny: What exactly is he doing up there?
- Sheldon: In what I can only perceive as a tactical move to destroy me, he is with Wolowitz and Koothrapali setting up her stereo.
- Penny: Oh, they're all up there are they? Typical.
- Sheldon: It's axiomatically atypical. Up until recently they did not know Alicia, and had no encounters with her at her previous location. They never went upstairs to visit the former tenants. So your characterization of their behavior as typical is demonstratively fallacious.
- Penny: Okay, *now* I see the giant squid head.
- Sheldon: Did you remember to ask for the chicken and broccoli to be diced, not shredded?
- Penny: Yes.
- Sheldon: Even though the menu specifies shredded?
- Penny: Yes.
- Sheldon: Brown rice, not white?
- Penny: Yes.
- Sheldon: You stop at the green grocery and get the good hot mustard?
- Penny: Yes.
- Sheldon: Did you pick up the low-sodium soy sauce from the market?
- Penny: Yes.
- Sheldon: Good. See how it's done, Leonard?
- Rajesh Koothrappali: I like Green Lantern. I'm just saying it's pretty lame that he can be defeated by the color yellow.
- Sheldon: Only the modern Green Lantern is vulnerable to yellow.
- Leonard: Golden Age Green Lantern was vulnerable to wood.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Great. So I can take them both out with a number 2 pencil?
- Sheldon: [after hearing Penny mimic Alicia] Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I've been working on Admiral Ackbar from "Return of the Jedi". "It's a trap!" You have to imagine me with a giant squid head.