Mark Harmon credited as playing...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The sadness when I hear you talk like this. You don't know who these people are. It could be a 45 year-old overweight man in Minnesota. I mean, like you said, you two haven't even met yet.
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: What part of "Level 5 sorceress" don't you understand?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering] All of it.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What do you got, Abs?
- Abby Sciuto: 1989's Christmas nightmare for every parent. The unattainable...
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Beary Smyles.
- Abby Sciuto: My dad waited in line two hours for one on Black Friday.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Six... Christmas Eve.
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Why don't we just bring her in?
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, what are we going to put on the warrant, Probie? "Gibbs's gut?"
- [off Gibbs's look]
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Not that that wouldn't be valid. I'm sure that...
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Talk to her friends, she'll come to us.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [about the dead man] Boss, Brandon Sykes, 22. Small-time drifter with a big-time rap sheet. Larceny, grand theft auto, dealing, even suspected of a homicide... over an iPod. Doesn't exactly scream "espionage".
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hired gun.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Hired by who?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: *Whom*, Tony. "Who" is the nominative case. "Whom" always follows a preposition.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Traffic bad?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Dreadful.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Abby...
- Abby Sciuto: '72 Skylark, custom hubcaps. I already told Tony to put out a BOLO.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No. I was going to say "Nice job."
- [Gibbs walks away]
- Abby Sciuto: Oh...
- [Dejectedly]
- Abby Sciuto: Obviously not nice enough.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Fridge.
- [Abby looks at the fridge and notices a Caf-Pow! Abby gasps, and goes to the fridge]
- Abby Sciuto: I don't know how you did that and I don't care!
- [Holds it aloft]
- Abby Sciuto: Thank you, Gibbs!
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: So basically you got nothing.
- Abby Sciuto: I've spoiled you Gibbs. You can't get an answer every time you come down here. But next time, I *will* have something.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Next time, you'll have a Caf-Pow!
- Abby Sciuto: Whoever trashed his apartment went banzai on his dinner plates with a hammer. And they were not looking for anything...
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, they just wanted to trash it.
- Abby Sciuto: And I know who "they" is. I pulled a partial print off the TV set that was thrown into the bathtub.
- [points to her big screen]
- Abby Sciuto: Meet our rock star!
- [cut to Gibbs interviewing...]
- Jessica Shore: Hell, yeah, I did it! I went over to that jackass's place and I broke everything in sight!
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That was easy.
- Jessica Shore: It was all my stuff anyway. You think that dumb-ass could afford real plates? When I met the guy, he had a can opener and a plastic fork. The guy's a loser, like all the rest of 'em.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: How did your boyfriend know Captain Jennings?
- Jessica Shore: He didn't... you think Brandon killed the Captain?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I don't think, I know.
- Jessica Shore: Um... I brought him to the Christmas party last year, but he spent the whole night in the parking lot, throwing up. Like I said, a real winner.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That why you trashed his place?
- Jessica Shore: I trashed his place because he proposed.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [deadpan] I'll take that as a no.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [referring to the victim] Reminiscent of a rather dark period in English history. Did you know that the preferred method of punishment for treason was to be hung, drawn, and quartered? They would hang the victims by the neck, then they were taken from the scaffold before they could have the freedom of death, and disemboweled. Just like this chap. Except, unlike him, they would hack them into four quarters and drag them through the streets, their heads stuck on pikestaffs.
- Ziva David, Mossad Liaison: Nice story, Ducky.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Yes, well, I did say it was dark and, thankfully, ancient history.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not so ancient, Duck.