Jon Cryer credited as playing...
Alan Harper
- Alan Harper: I want my forty dollars!
- Charlie Harper: I only borrowed thirty-eight.
- Alan Harper: Yeah, well, I find round numbers easier to remember.
- Charlie Harper: You like round numbers, do you?
- Alan Harper: Yeah! I... I like round numbers.
- Charlie Harper: Okay! Here's a round number for you: zero!
- [makes a fist]
- Charlie Harper: Nice, tight, circular shape.
- [makes a fist]
- Charlie Harper: Nothing gets in, nothing gets out. Sound familiar, Alan?
- Alan Harper: Are you calling me anal?
- Charlie Harper: That's right. A-L-A-N. Anal.
- Alan Harper: Okay! Okay! Okay! So, so, bottom line: you're not gonna pay me back. Is that correct?
- Charlie Harper: Well, truth be told, I *was* gonna pay you back, but your attitude irks me.
- Alan Harper: I irk you?
- Charlie Harper: That's right. I find you irksome. You're a big fat *irk*!