Frozen Flesh

Let's begin with the opening credits: each title stays on screen for about 45 seconds each: the title itself, the production credits, which consist of only the name Justin French repeated several times, then a lengthy shot of a burning candle, which goes on for two-and-a-half minutes! then a lengthy shot of someone playing with a dripping faucet and water running down the drain, then chocolate syrup spiraling down the drain, which must go on for nearly ten minutes.

And there is no less than two hours of this spellbinding masterwork.

The director/ writer/ producer/ cinematographer/ editor/ composer of this two hour sleeping pill (who was supposedly only 19 years old when he came up with this one) claims that he had something to say about how very lousy movies can be filmed and distributed, often times on a minuscule budget, and that by doing so does not necessarily make one a "film maker", and that just simply moving to L.A. and releasing something also does not mean that one is a "film maker". But any point he might have had is drowned out in these two hours of LENGTHY shots of, well, basically nothing. The movie is basically about a half dozen lengthy (silent) shots of absolutely nothing happening, besides a candle flickering endlessly, water boiling in its entirety, a hand playing with a dripping faucet, etc., filmed through the deepest red filter on the face of the earth and stretched out as long as possible, and then shown even longer for maximum torturous effect. During the "boiling water" sequence, what sounds like an electric razor is dubbed in loudly in the background, the rest of the soundtrack is pre-recorded noises, which sounds like a five-year-old child playing around on a keyboard bought at a flea market in 1981.

In the last sequence, a "Mass Murderer" with a butcher knife, wearing a Freddy Kruger-like striped shirt stabs at the air and at some off-screen object in slow motion endlessly, before we are shown the exact same scant production credits in the exact same slow-as-can-be manner as we had at the start. This "Mass Murderer" (who, not that this matters, is never actually shown killing anyone) hides his face behind a black stocking, and for good reason.

Like some sort of experimental film Andy Warhol might have done back in the 1960s, only much, MUCH worse. It actually did remind me of Warhol's 'Empire' (the eight hour film consisting of a motionless shot of the Empire State building) in that it shows endless shots of nothing happening, with no real point to any of it.

This can legally be viewed for free on at least two movie download sites. Go ahead, watch it. Or try to anyway. Then the next time someone starts rambling about Ben And Arthur, and it's the lowest rated film on IMDb (like that really makes any difference one way or the other) tell them about this monstrosity.

If you can watch this P.O.S to end, you deserve a pat on the back.

This the single worst horror film ever made. There are seven scenes in the whole film, one of which that includes a man stabbing the air for seventy minutes.

Also, There is no real story and the red tone color gave me a headache.

Overall, there is nothing much else to say about this mess. It can hardly even be thought of as a film, just random shots of nothing.

Please take my warning: Never (and I mean never) even consider watching this trash.

Justin French = Talentless hack.

what a piece of junk!!... after reading all those reviews that warned me about this horrible movie, I decided to watch a bit for myself. So I have to say that I only wasted 10 minutes of my life... and how I regret it...

don't watch it, is not even worth seeing out of curiosity

It is sad that the director has no sense at all, and on top of that he comes here to say it is the bes movie ever. I think the director should consider getting another career.

do not watch this movie

The director wrote that he reinvented horror genre, yes you did, you invented a whole new category of bad movie making. seriously it was the most stupid movie ever.

First of all, in case you haven't read anything about Frozen Flesh, it's not really a movie according to any popular or professional definition of that word. It is merely a two-hour string of looped footage that includes a candle burning, water boiling, a mould of a human hand baking in the oven with several different kinds of powder, a cake (?) being baked, and a masked man repeatedly stabbing the air. Sorry if I spoiled your fun on that one, please don't report me.

So it's just a dumb so-called movie that some kid, alias Justin French, made in his spare time, right? Who cares? Well, if you've bothered to look this movie up on amazon.com, you'll notice that it is for sale -- for TWENTY DOLLARS. Now, I don't know whether French is really letting people buy this movie, especially since he has said in his own words that this film is intended as a joke (see message boards). However, I did see several irate comments on the sale page, indicating that some people may have been ripped off. If the least of evils is true, French has merely produced the worst cinematic turd I have ever had the displeasure to smell. However, if he is really selling this movie to ignorant people, then he is a scam artist and a fraud, who ought to be ashamed of himself. I don't care what IMDb says, if he's selling it without telling people what it really is ON AMAZON.COM, he's a phony who ought to be arrested.

Whichever, no movie has ever incited so much hate within me. This is one of the few movies that has ever made me angry. I was angry that Mr French found it amusing to waste my time with his experiment in human psychology. I was angry at his cocky attitude in the forums. I was angry that he promoted his film with fake critical reviews. But above all, I was angry that he dared list this garbage for sale on Amazon. According to French himself, the purpose of this film was to demonstrate how audiences react angrily to aspiring film-makers' works. Success.

"Frozen Flesh" was so awe inspiringly bad, based solely on the fact that it wasn't actually a movie. It was a guy moving a knife up and down for 100 minutes. I was, however, shocked that somebody could sit there that long without developing severe back pain, or possibly scoliosis. I have my doubts that this movie was actually serious.

Let's see. Not much to review here. A guy picks up a knife, and... uh... knifes. The end. Movie over. I have just saved you 140 minutes of your time. Is this one of those subliminal propaganda movies, or possibly a movie designed to torture terror suspects until they go insane? I suspect such is true. It could be a signal to the Caped Crusader, or something of that nature. We'll never know.

So, thank you Justin French, for almost wasting 140 minutes of my life (was more like 5 - thank heavens for fast forward on YouTube!) I'm not even sure what the point of this movie was, or why anyone would spend any time making it? Why? Why!!!???