Frozen Flesh

First of all, in case you haven't read anything about Frozen Flesh, it's not really a movie according to any popular or professional definition of that word. It is merely a two-hour string of looped footage that includes a candle burning, water boiling, a mould of a human hand baking in the oven with several different kinds of powder, a cake (?) being baked, and a masked man repeatedly stabbing the air. Sorry if I spoiled your fun on that one, please don't report me.

So it's just a dumb so-called movie that some kid, alias Justin French, made in his spare time, right? Who cares? Well, if you've bothered to look this movie up on amazon.com, you'll notice that it is for sale -- for TWENTY DOLLARS. Now, I don't know whether French is really letting people buy this movie, especially since he has said in his own words that this film is intended as a joke (see message boards). However, I did see several irate comments on the sale page, indicating that some people may have been ripped off. If the least of evils is true, French has merely produced the worst cinematic turd I have ever had the displeasure to smell. However, if he is really selling this movie to ignorant people, then he is a scam artist and a fraud, who ought to be ashamed of himself. I don't care what IMDb says, if he's selling it without telling people what it really is ON AMAZON.COM, he's a phony who ought to be arrested.

Whichever, no movie has ever incited so much hate within me. This is one of the few movies that has ever made me angry. I was angry that Mr French found it amusing to waste my time with his experiment in human psychology. I was angry at his cocky attitude in the forums. I was angry that he promoted his film with fake critical reviews. But above all, I was angry that he dared list this garbage for sale on Amazon. According to French himself, the purpose of this film was to demonstrate how audiences react angrily to aspiring film-makers' works. Success.

You know what we learned kids? If you don't have talent, then DON'T MAKE A MOVIE. You don't want to end up like Justin French! That's right, kids! I'm talking about the guy behind this piece of dump. He's made some, oh not good, but not bad, but REALLY boring and the most awful sheet I've ever witnissed. What is this anyway? I can't watch this any longer. I had high hopes for this film, thinking it would be another one of those cheesy gore movies. Plot? It claims to have a killer burglar cooking and literally eating his victims. This could be one of the most best things to ever come to film, but what do we get? 112 fricking minutes of NOTHING! How do these films get made? Just how? Justin does show some hints and facts that he REALLY doesn't even try at all. Also why is the only character in this movie named "The Mass Murderer"? He does no killing at all, but only swings at the air at the not bloody knife, that we're supposed to believe that's the victim, but this movie has only one actor, so we'll just say he's swining at no body. The whole movie... Well what do you wanna know? It must be seen to be believed! Now let's get to the effects. The only budget put into this movie is that fake hand you can always get at a halloween store, and chocolate syrup poured into a sink, thinking that's blood. So, what to say about this. IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS THE END.

This movie is without a doubt, the single worst piece of trash i have ever watched. I deserve a medal for watching it thru to the end. I felt compelled to create an IMDb account just so i could review this god awful "film". I only watched it out of some morbid curiosity i got from reading other reviews on it... much akin i supposed to wanting to play "Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde" on the NES after watching an AVN review. Knowing it wasn't going to be scary, i thought i could at least get a kick out of how bad it was, but all i got was irate at the fact that i had just wasted 112 minutes of my life watching....nothing. It's minuscule budget would have been better served buying cheeseburgers for fat people and the director and "actor"'s time would have been better spent watching paint dry. Both functions would have been more productive than unleashing this colossal piece of crap upon the world. Summary: It stinks and I hate it.

what a piece of junk!!... after reading all those reviews that warned me about this horrible movie, I decided to watch a bit for myself. So I have to say that I only wasted 10 minutes of my life... and how I regret it...

don't watch it, is not even worth seeing out of curiosity

It is sad that the director has no sense at all, and on top of that he comes here to say it is the bes movie ever. I think the director should consider getting another career.

do not watch this movie

The director wrote that he reinvented horror genre, yes you did, you invented a whole new category of bad movie making. seriously it was the most stupid movie ever.

I don't know why Justin French, the director of this movie, loves this so much. This is highly a terrible movie with no plot, no horror, no anything, except for this one shot of a knife stabbing the air, a candle lightning up, and a hand being baked in the oven with a red filter over it. How can anyone f*ck up film making this bad?! How can they do this to us? Is this our punishment for not liking low budget home made films? Well forget it this ain't a movie or a horror, well yeah, but it is, it's one hours long, it has the horror genre thrown over the film, it has a serial killer, it has creepy music and suspense, so it IS a horror, just a very bad one. The music sucks, the actors suck, the camera work sucks, everything sucks. FROZEN FLESH SUCKS!