Frozen Flesh

Just in case this is the first you've heard of this "film": This is not a real movie. It is, apparently, an attempt at a practical joke. All the "reviews" quoted on the poster are completely fabricated by the director, and there is absolutely nothing to be gained from watching this "movie."

Let me start by saying that I enjoy a good joke at the expense of others as much as the next d-bag. At least in principle, I'm totally on board with the notion of playing a joke on all the dumb wannabe film critics that have infested the internet, who think that posting a bunch of irate, vitriolic movie reviews rife with spelling errors will make them look smart. Such people frequently complain about how these sub-par films have "wasted" their time, as if they would have used that time to find a cure for cancer if only the awful filmmakers of the world weren't forcing them to watch all these worthless movies.

Needless to say, I'm generally supportive of any scheme designed to take such people down a peg, and as I understand it, Frozen Flesh was intended to be just such a scheme. In my opinion, it wasn't a complete failure in that sense. If you poke around a little on any film/horror review website, you're bound to find page after page of angry, indignant "movie buffs" ranting and raving about how director Justin French has wasted their time an violated their brains.

But that doesn't make Frozen Flesh worth watching. It may very well be the most pointless, least worthwhile sequence of images ever caught on camera. Regardless of the director's intent, Frozen Flesh is a spectacular cinematic failure, and no amount of amusingly angry pseudo-critics is going to change that. In fact, it's so bad that it actually gives some credibility to those infuriated reviewers, which is where I start to take issue with it. While I can see the humour in playing a joke on self-important morons who take themselves too seriously, nobody likes being lied to, and that seems to be exactly what Justin French set out to do in making this "film": he blatantly deceives viewers "for the lulz," and that's pretty tasteless and mean-spirited, even by my standards.

At the end of the day, what Frozen Flesh really amounts to is a film that's not worth watching, and a joke that's not that funny. Even if you're not going to find the cure for cancer, your time would be better spent doing anything other than watching Frozen Flesh.

what a piece of junk!!... after reading all those reviews that warned me about this horrible movie, I decided to watch a bit for myself. So I have to say that I only wasted 10 minutes of my life... and how I regret it...

don't watch it, is not even worth seeing out of curiosity

It is sad that the director has no sense at all, and on top of that he comes here to say it is the bes movie ever. I think the director should consider getting another career.

do not watch this movie

The director wrote that he reinvented horror genre, yes you did, you invented a whole new category of bad movie making. seriously it was the most stupid movie ever.

"Frozen Flesh" was so awe inspiringly bad, based solely on the fact that it wasn't actually a movie. It was a guy moving a knife up and down for 100 minutes. I was, however, shocked that somebody could sit there that long without developing severe back pain, or possibly scoliosis. I have my doubts that this movie was actually serious.

Let's see. Not much to review here. A guy picks up a knife, and... uh... knifes. The end. Movie over. I have just saved you 140 minutes of your time. Is this one of those subliminal propaganda movies, or possibly a movie designed to torture terror suspects until they go insane? I suspect such is true. It could be a signal to the Caped Crusader, or something of that nature. We'll never know.

So, thank you Justin French, for almost wasting 140 minutes of my life (was more like 5 - thank heavens for fast forward on YouTube!) I'm not even sure what the point of this movie was, or why anyone would spend any time making it? Why? Why!!!???

I don't know why Justin French, the director of this movie, loves this so much. This is highly a terrible movie with no plot, no horror, no anything, except for this one shot of a knife stabbing the air, a candle lightning up, and a hand being baked in the oven with a red filter over it. How can anyone f*ck up film making this bad?! How can they do this to us? Is this our punishment for not liking low budget home made films? Well forget it this ain't a movie or a horror, well yeah, but it is, it's one hours long, it has the horror genre thrown over the film, it has a serial killer, it has creepy music and suspense, so it IS a horror, just a very bad one. The music sucks, the actors suck, the camera work sucks, everything sucks. FROZEN FLESH SUCKS!

This movie is without a doubt, the single worst piece of trash i have ever watched. I deserve a medal for watching it thru to the end. I felt compelled to create an IMDb account just so i could review this god awful "film". I only watched it out of some morbid curiosity i got from reading other reviews on it... much akin i supposed to wanting to play "Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde" on the NES after watching an AVN review. Knowing it wasn't going to be scary, i thought i could at least get a kick out of how bad it was, but all i got was irate at the fact that i had just wasted 112 minutes of my life watching....nothing. It's minuscule budget would have been better served buying cheeseburgers for fat people and the director and "actor"'s time would have been better spent watching paint dry. Both functions would have been more productive than unleashing this colossal piece of crap upon the world. Summary: It stinks and I hate it.