Charlie Day credited as playing...
Charlie Kelly
- Charlie Kelly: [refering to a George Washington painting] Now, why would you hang a painting like this on your wall?
- Mac: Well, it's the Historical Society, bro. They have to hang it up.
- Charlie Kelly: What, we gotta suffer just 'cause some old dude who looks like Meryl Streep chopped down a cherry tree like ten million years ago? It's just- he looks terrible!
- Mac: You know what? Let's take it down. It's just gonna distract us through the meeting.
- Charlie Kelly: Yeah, let's get it down, man. It's not gonna- it's not gonna work.
- Dennis Reynolds: Let's take it down. I'm gonna tear it down.
- [pulls painting]
- Dennis Reynolds: Unbelievable. It's bolted to the wall.
- Charlie Kelly: Well, that proves our point, man. We're not the first people to try to take that thing down.
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, well, we're gonna be the first ones to actually succeed. Come on, let's tear it down, Charlie.
- Charlie Kelly: Let's just rip it off the wall.
- Dennis Reynolds: Rip it right off the wall...
- Mac: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, guys, guys. I got a pocket knife. Just cut it out of the frame.
- Charlie Kelly: Why is the witch-slave shooting at you anyways?
- Frank Reynolds: Maybe she used her sorcery.
- Dee Reynolds: Sorcery? Your dumb-dick partner walked into the bar and said he'd stolen a bunch of guns and asked if I wanted to shoot a pumpkin off his head. And of course I did, so here we are.
- Frank Reynolds: Damn your necromancy, woman!