Ed Westwick credited as playing...
Chuck Bass
- Blair Waldorf: Not that's it's any of your business but Marcus and I have an amazing sex life.
- Chuck Bass: Is that so?
- [pause]
- Chuck Bass: What names does he call you when you make love?
- [Blair doesn't say anything and Chuck turns her around and grasps her hand]
- Chuck Bass: Where does he put his hand? Does he...
- [whispers seductively in Blair's ear:]
- Chuck Bass: I want you, baby. Won't you come to me?
- [while she's off balance:]
- Chuck Bass: Have sex with me.
- Blair Waldorf: What?
- Chuck Bass: Just once. That's all I need.
- Blair Waldorf: You are disgusting and I hate you!
- Chuck Bass: Then why are you still holding my hand?
- [Blair turns back around]
- Blair Waldorf: I have a party to host.
- [walks off]
- Serena van der Woodsen: I'm sorry, I'm not laughing. It's just so obvious. You're not over Blair, this is your body's way of telling you!
- Chuck Bass: I don't have a romantic bone in my body.
- [glancing down at himself:]
- Chuck Bass: Least of all that one. But you do raise an interesting idea. Clearly there's some sort of... blockage. Perhaps...
- Serena van der Woodsen: No!
- Chuck Bass: One more go-around, just to clear the pipes.
- Serena van der Woodsen: You are not using Blair as sexual Drano!
- Chuck Bass: I have to make myself presentable. I have a party to attend.
- Chuck Bass: So much wasted potential.
- Blair Waldorf: What are you talking about?
- Chuck Bass: The thing that always fascinated me about you. The cool exterior, the fire burning below.
- Blair Waldorf: [contemptuous] You are living proof a person can't buy class.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [as Japanese air hostess leaves] Who was that?
- Chuck Bass: A whiff of the Far East.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [shakes her head] Sometimes I envy you, the way you just... Ew, what am I saying? You're disgusting.
- Chuck Bass: Relax. Nothing happened with Madame Butterfly.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Yeah, right.
- Chuck Bass: No. Nothing happened. Same as nothing's been happening all week.
- Serena van der Woodsen: What are you talking about? You've had different girls all week.
- [then realizes nature of Chuck's problem]
- Serena van der Woodsen: No.
- Chuck Bass: I will take your incredulity as a compliment.
- Chuck Bass: [dressed a la Hugh Hefner in silk bathrobe, offers cigarette] Smoke?
- Nate Archibald: No, thanks. It's, uh, a little early for me.
- Chuck Bass: So how can I help, Nathaniel?
- Nate Archibald: About last week, uh, the money? I... I might have... overreacted a little.
- Chuck Bass: A little?
- Nate Archibald: Yeah. And, hey, if you can, I would love to take you up on the offer as a loan.
- Chuck Bass: I thought you were getting the money from somewhere else.
- Nate Archibald: Yeah, but that person, uhm, is asking for a lot.
- Chuck Bass: Well, I'd love to accommodate you, but when you spurned my offer, I sent the money to my financial guys. It's tied up in bonds for six months.
- Nate Archibald: Oh, uh, no, that's cool, I'll just... I'll find another way.
- Chuck Bass: So, uh, seen Blair and Lord Fauntleroy recently?
- Nate Archibald: No. Are you doing okay?
- Chuck Bass: Mm. I confess, I've been feeling a little off my game. But I'm expecting a return to form very soon.
- VDW-Bass Butler: Sir, the flight from Tokyo has landed.
- [followed by raven-haired Japanese stewardess]
- Chuck Bass: So I can see.