Jeffrey Ross credited as playing...
Self - Roaster
- Jeffrey Ross: [to Saget] "Full House" should've been called "Blackjack" 'cause you hit on the Olsens when they were eight, you didn't stop till they were 21.
- Jeffrey Ross: In honor of the late, great, George Carlin, I'd like to leave you all with another seven words you could never hear on television: "And they Emmy goes to... Bob Saget!"
- Jeffrey Ross: Jon Lovitz put a profile up on Match.com; they paired him with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion.
- Jeffrey Ross: The Olsen Twins were supposed to be here tonight, but they heard there was going to be food.
- Jeffrey Ross: Most comics dream of performing in Las Vegas Nevada, Bob Saget dreams of performing in Hannah Montana