Hank Azaria credited as playing...
Moe Szyslak • Chief Wiggum • Comic Book Guy • Apu • Old Jewish Man • Voting Machine • Bestimus Muchos • Ad Man 1 • Charlton Heston • Announcer • George Washington • John Lennon • Edward G. Robinson • Prince • Grand Pumpkin • Tom Turkey
- John Wayne: [to Prince] Little Sister, is that mustache coming or going?
- Prince: Well your wife likes it.
- John Wayne: [chuckles] You're okay, goofy grape.
- Bestimus Muchos: Wait a minute. We're missing Sex Toy.
- [Sex Toy enters]
- Bestimus Muchos: Where have you been?
- Sex Toy: Where haven't I been?
- Krusty The Klown: [from "How to Get Away with Dead-vertsing"; panning up from Homer in Times Square, Manhatten, NYC to Celebrity Heaven. Here, the celebrities that Homer just killed the preceding montage, including local Springfieldian Krusty the Klown, are angry at Homer from down below] We just can't sit here while they exploit our images!
- [Krusty turns on the TV, showing a advertisement for stockswapper.org featuring footage of John Wayne]
- Announcer: [on TV] Hey, John Wayne. Have you heard of stockswapper.org's low, low transaction fees?
- John Wayne: [nine shots of him from his film with a lead role] Sounds... like... quite... a... deal... pilgrim! I hate... trans-... -action... fees.
- ["fees" refers to his dedicated memorial]