Paul Reubens credited as playing...
Pee-wee Herman
- [the King of Cartoons enters the Playhouse very thursty]
- Pee-wee Herman: Hi, Your Royal Highness! How's it...
- [the King of Cartoons grabs Pee-wee's jug of water and gulps it down]
- Pee-wee Herman: ... going?
- King of Cartoons: Oh, I'm sorry, Pee-wee, but I've waited so long out there in that heat for my introduction that I guess I really worked up a king-sized thirst.
- Pee-wee Herman: Yeah, you look like you have kind of a royal flush.
- King of Cartoons: Do I? Do I? Oh, it's too hot for me to show any cartoons.
- [everyone moans]
- King of Cartoons: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I hate to disappoint all my loyal fans.
- Pee-wee Herman: Fans? That's a great idea! Let's make fans right now!
- Pee-wee Herman: Globey, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and not make up a bunch of junk that isn't the truth?
- Globey: Yes, I promise.
- Pee-wee Herman: Good.
- Miss Yvonne: Since I am the most beautiful woman in Puppetland, then I should be the one who gets to wear this, the most beautiful dress in Puppetland.
- Mrs. Rene: I object! That material is immaterial!
- Pee-wee Herman: Hmm, you're right. That's sustained.
- [bangs gavel]
- Miss Yvonne: No, it's not a stain. It just looks that way.
- Pee-wee Herman: Okay, Mrs. Rene, would you like to present your side?
- Mrs. Rene: Oh, boy, would I! Thank you, O most exalted one, O wisest of the wise and fairest of the fair, he who is all-knowing and all-seeing.
- Pee-wee Herman: Mmm, just "Your Honor" will do.
- Mrs. Rene: Of course, Your Honor. I would like to call as my witness... Miss Yvonne!
- Miss Yvonne: Hi, Pee-wee! Oh, I mean, Your Honor. Have you made a decision yet?
- Pee-wee Herman: Well, no, not exactly, Miss Yvonne.
- Miss Yvonne: Good! Because I just want to say, whatever you decide, I'll still be your friend.
- Pee-wee Herman: You will?
- Miss Yvonne: Oh, yes. I may be the most beautiful woman in Puppetland, but you're the handsomest man.
- Pee-wee Herman: Me?
- Miss Yvonne: Definitely. Also, the sweetest, the smartest, and the funniest, too.
- Pee-wee Herman: Hmm, yeah, and the best dresser.
- Miss Yvonne: Yes, and the best dresser.
- Pee-wee Herman: And the dreamiest.
- Miss Yvonne: Yes, and the dreamiest.
- Pee-wee Herman: And the most rad!
- Miss Yvonne: Yes!