Neil Patrick Harris credited as playing...
Barney Stinson
- Barney Stinson: That's why there's a little thing in corporate America I like to call the chain of screaming
- Marshall Eriksen: The chain of screaming?
- Barney Stinson: Yes. The chain of screaming starts at the top. Arthur's boss's boss screams at Arthur's boss. Arthur's boss screams at Arthur. Arthur screams at you. You go home and scream at Lily. Lily screams at one of the kids in her kindergarten class. Then that kid screams at her dad: Arthur's boss's boss. And the whole thing starts all over again; thus completing the circle of screaming
- Ted Mosby: I thought you said it was a chain of screaming?
- Barney Stinson: It's a circle, Ted. I called it a circle.
- Marshall Eriksen: I don't scream at Lily
- Lily Aldrin: And I don't scream at my kids. None of whom have parents that work at Marshall's firm.
- Robin Scherbatsky: So it's not a circle
- Barney Stinson: [Angry] Fine! You want it to be a chain of screaming? A chain of screaming. I come up with the circle idea halfway through because I thought it was a more elegant metaphor, but fine, RUIN it. You guys always undermine me when I'm trying to make a point and I'm sick of it. Argh! I'm surrounded by idiots. IDIOTS.
- [Normal]
- Barney Stinson: See, doesn't everyone feel better now?
- Ted Mosby: Come on. When's the last time you got screamed-at at work?
- Barney Stinson: I got screamed-at three times today. Once in Korean. This is corporate America, Marshall. Screaming is motivational tool. Like Christmas bonuses or sexual harassments. It's just good business.
- Barney Stinson: You know what, if you're not gonna yell at the waiter, yell at me.
- Marshall Eriksen: What?
- Barney Stinson: Yell at me.
- Marshall Eriksen: I'm not gonna yell at you, Barney.
- Barney Stinson: Why? You think you're gonna upset me? Please, give me your best shot.
- Marshall Eriksen: Ok, fine. Do you want me to yell at you?
- Barney Stinson: Yeah.
- Marshall Eriksen: This is me, yelling at you, Barney!
- Barney Stinson: I'm sorry I couldn't hear you over the sound of a butterfly landing on a leaf about three blocks away.
- Marshall Eriksen: This is me, yelling at you, Barney!
- Barney Stinson: Okay, you got some volume now give me some content, make it hurt!
- Marshall Eriksen: You don't look as good in suits as you think you do!
- Barney Stinson: No, something that it's true, come on. The man made you cry, make me cry!
- Barney Stinson: Shotgun for eternity!
- Robin Scherbatsky: You can't call shotgun for eternity.
- Barney Stinson: I just called it.
- Robin Scherbatsky: You can't just call things!
- Barney Stinson: I call that I can call things!
- Barney Stinson: Dude, I can't believe you cried in front of your boss.
- Marshall Eriksen: I don't know what happened. There is just something about been yelled like that, like I was being spurred by my dad, suddenly... suddenly I was a little boy.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Is boy the right word?