Michael Lowry credited as playing...
Wes Tosterone
- Evelyn Harper: Ugh! What is that? Non-dairy creamer? Just take me to the Green Mile and be done with it.
- Wes Tosterone: It's all we got.
- Evelyn Harper: Oh, please! All these cops around, one of them can't make a Starbucks run?
- Sloane Jagov: [checking the crime scene, a.k.a. Charlie's bedroom, for semen with a special light] My... God!
- Wes Tosterone: It's like a Jackson Pollock painting!
- Charlie Harper: The ceiling fan is actually a cute story.
- Evelyn Harper: There was lipstick on his hoo-hoo.
- Wes Tosterone: Your lipstick?
- Evelyn Harper: Oh, God, no. I'd rather drink your coffee.
- Wes Tosterone: So, he was with another woman.
- Evelyn Harper: Not necessarily.
- Wes Tosterone: Do you have another theory for where the lipstick came from?
- Evelyn Harper: Have you ruled out clowns? You should check for really big footprints.
- Berta: I'm warning you, coffee tends to shoot through me. So, if you've got a cavity search planned, you better do it pretty quick.
- Wes Tosterone: We don't need to do a cavity search.
- Berta: Can I request one?
- Wes Tosterone: What do you know about Teddy Leopold?
- Berta: I know he was hot for me. He was always flirting.