Jonah Hill credited as playing...
Aaron Green
- Sergio Roma: You've been mind-fucked before?
- Aaron Green: I don't think so.
- Sergio Roma: I'm mind-fucking you right now.
- Aaron Green: You are?
- Sergio Roma: Can't you feel my dick fucking your mind?
- Aaron Green: No, I can't really feel anything.
- Sergio Roma: See? That's it. That's the art of it. I'm mind-fucking the shit out of you.
- Aaron Green: Well I hope you're wearing a condom cause I have a dirty mind.
- Aaron Green: [as Sergio is chasing after them in a hotel lobby] This is the longest hallway of all time!
- Aldous Snow: It's Kubrickian!
- Aldous Snow: I labored under the myth of monogamy for sever years with Jackie and it was pointless.
- Aaron Green: So you only slept with Jackie?
- Aldous Snow: No, I slept with other people but I always told her about it. Monogamy.
- Limousine Driver in London: Would you like me to take the Chiswick roundabout through Hounslow and Staines?
- Aaron Green: What is this, fucking Middle Earth? Just take us to the airport, okay.
- Aaron Green: [at a club] What's up man?
- Tom Felton: Hey.
- Aaron Green: I'm here with Aldous Snow, so we have a table in the back.
- Tom Felton: [not interested] Great.
- Aaron Green: Feel free to bring Professor Snape. Come by, we'll play some late night Quidditch.
- Tom Felton: Just leave it, you...
- [walks away]
- Aaron Green: Right. Not everyone cares.
- Aldous Snow: We're gonna fuck these two girls.
- Aaron Green: I just got out of a relationship.
- Aldous Snow: Was your ex a blonde or brunette?
- Aaron Green: Brunette.
- Aldous Snow: Blonde it is.
- Aaron Green: Do you know the lyrics to "African Child"?
- Smiling African Drummer: I don't know the lyrics. I just bang the drum and do the African face.
- [He shows Aaron his version of playing the African drum]
- Aaron Green: [Aaron has a balloon full of heroin up his ass] Oh, no.
- Aldous Snow: What?
- Aaron Green: I have to sneeze... and I'm afraid that if I do... my bowels will evacuate...
- Aaron Green: Nothing you say makes any sense, I understand that now, you're just a fucking junkie and you're smart so you make your insanity sound, good but its bullshit.
- Matty: Man, that opening party was incredible. Check out the pictures on Myspace. There's one of me eating cheese off some girl's titties.
- Aaron Green: Please just lie to me and say I didn't miss another awesome party.
- Matty: You missed an awesome party. I woke up with glitter on my dick.
- Aldous Snow: Aaron, look at what you're wearing. Do you think that now you live in Seattle, you're grunge or something? You look like a lesbian.
- Aaron Green: Play the song, man.
- Aaron Green: Are you Paul Krugman?
- Paul Krugman: Uh, yeah.
- Aaron Green: My dad loves your shit.
- Paul Krugman: Uh, thank you.
- Aaron Green: I think I just got raped.
- Aldous Snow: [handing him a joint] Only one thing to do.
- Aaron Green: [taking a hit] Uh, guys? What is this stuff? My heart's going really fast.
- Aldous Snow: Oh, it's a bit of this, a bit of that. It's called a Jeffrey. It's mostly weed, with a bit of opium as well... ground-up E's... heroin... Clorox...
- Aaron Green: I think I'm having a heart attack.
- Sergio Roma: Stop smiling like that. You look like an 8 year old who just discovered his first boner.
- Aaron Green: ...Well I don't have one so...
- Aaron Green: [Dildo violently rubbed against his face] When's the last time you Purelled that thing?