Marina Monster

After a simply awful monologue about the ferocity of bull sharks and an equally putrid shark attack, we're 'treated' to about 2 and a half minute of nothing but footage of sailboats (seriously I timed it with my mouth hanging open, dumbfounded with each passing minute, not to be out done the ending 4 minutes are nothing but a view of the ocean, but I digress). The movie is about the aforementioned bull shark (oh and when we do see this thing, it appears to be a rubber toy shark of the 2 dollar variety) attacking various people at a marina where a sailing race is going to be held. Billed as a comedy, this doesn't even work well as that. There's a reason that I seem to be the first (hopefully only) person to comment on this film on this site, it's atrocious and I wouldn't wish it to be watched even by my worst enemy. It's also one of the few films that I'm very thankful that the actresses kept their clothes on throughout.

My Grade: F-

This is a one for movie value, but a SEVEN! for comedy. Therefore I should give it a 2! Although the humor is mostly unintended. Campy? Not smart enough, nor clever enough... But in its awfulness it is hilarious! Watch it for free on Amazon. The action centers around a boat race. The shark is in a freshwater lagoon or lake and was introduced by accident. Watch for some actors ( used loosely) playing several roles and use of way out wigs and hats to hide their identity. The twisted plot revolves around competing yacht clubs and some pretty hyper-sexed boaters. Be warned that many people are eaten by the shark. I counted thirty and that might be low, however, this is not a blood and guts film. The camera persons concentrated on bosoms and buttocks. this is not a film for children. This was fun for a cold Saturday afternoon.

My god... Is this movie serious???? I have seen better by 4th graders... No seriously I have. They seemed to use some sort of camera phone or something to film. The shark looks to be some sort of rubber toy. Really I feel sorry for anyone that even was able to make it through the first 5 minutes of this, for lack of a better term, film. It was so horrible that we could not even take it as a joke. We tried to just laugh through it but that only lasted about 12-13 minutes. This film was impressively horrendous. The fact that Netflix even had this movie as a choice to watch instantly amazes me. Again I'm sorry for anyone that even made it far enough to have to read this review.

Matt

Marina monster (2008) is a comedy horror movie about shark attack .. This movie is so bad, silly, weird and disgusting, we will be taken to watch this 72 minute movie, filled with foolishness and ignorance, character characters in this movie So lousy, the CGI effects are so horrible. The acting is so bad .. Marina monster one of the worst movies of all time .. Do not watch and waste your time to watch cheap and disgusting movies like garbage ....

Sharp Teeth (2006) Marina Monster (2008)

BOMB (out of 4)

There's no question that these two movies are downright horrid on all levels but at the same time you have to tip your hat to anyone who is able to get a movie made. SHARP TEETH and it's semi-follow up MARINA MONSTER are both direct-to-video and it's doubtful many people will have heard of them.

SHARP TEETH begins as some sort of toxic gets into a lake where of course the little fishies eat it causing them to grow into big fishies and then eat humans. MARINA MONSTER has a brief introduction telling us that angry sharks are growing tired of the ocean so they are now traveling into fresh waters where they're getting very hungry and willing to eat anything. In our film it's a bull shark that finds its way into a lake.

There's really not too much to either one of these films and when you discuss one you could pretty much be killing two birds with one stone. Both films were shot on an obviously low budget and it appears most of the actors were probably just friends or people wanting to say they were involved with a film. Needless to say the performances in both films are pretty bad and none of them are even remotely good. The biggest problem with both films is that there's a very strange sense of humor going on. At first I wasn't sure if the director was just spoofing low-budget movies but the added sound effects just became too annoying and they were never funny. SHARP TEETH has the annoying habit of getting close ups of women's breasts (in their clothing of course) and this isn't sexy and in fact it's the one time where I didn't want to see any more. The violence in both films is pretty much off camera as we never really get to see anything but this is expected due to the budget. I must admit that I enjoyed MARINA MONSTER a tad bit more because of the shark they use in the water. The thing is obviously fake but what's funny is that the thing couldn't be any more than a foot in length.