Marina Monster

After a simply awful monologue about the ferocity of bull sharks and an equally putrid shark attack, we're 'treated' to about 2 and a half minute of nothing but footage of sailboats (seriously I timed it with my mouth hanging open, dumbfounded with each passing minute, not to be out done the ending 4 minutes are nothing but a view of the ocean, but I digress). The movie is about the aforementioned bull shark (oh and when we do see this thing, it appears to be a rubber toy shark of the 2 dollar variety) attacking various people at a marina where a sailing race is going to be held. Billed as a comedy, this doesn't even work well as that. There's a reason that I seem to be the first (hopefully only) person to comment on this film on this site, it's atrocious and I wouldn't wish it to be watched even by my worst enemy. It's also one of the few films that I'm very thankful that the actresses kept their clothes on throughout.

My Grade: F-

Marina monster (2008) is a comedy horror movie about shark attack .. This movie is so bad, silly, weird and disgusting, we will be taken to watch this 72 minute movie, filled with foolishness and ignorance, character characters in this movie So lousy, the CGI effects are so horrible. The acting is so bad .. Marina monster one of the worst movies of all time .. Do not watch and waste your time to watch cheap and disgusting movies like garbage ....

My god... Is this movie serious???? I have seen better by 4th graders... No seriously I have. They seemed to use some sort of camera phone or something to film. The shark looks to be some sort of rubber toy. Really I feel sorry for anyone that even was able to make it through the first 5 minutes of this, for lack of a better term, film. It was so horrible that we could not even take it as a joke. We tried to just laugh through it but that only lasted about 12-13 minutes. This film was impressively horrendous. The fact that Netflix even had this movie as a choice to watch instantly amazes me. Again I'm sorry for anyone that even made it far enough to have to read this review.

Matt

I am not sure if I am able to review this movie since I could only stand to watch about 10 minutes of it. Then again, maybe that makes me even more qualified to comment on this waste.

Without a doubt the worse "fish that eat people" movie. People literally fall, or are pushed, into the water and a fish (not sure what kind since I didn't stick around long enough to identify) appears instantly and eats them all, at the same time! You don't actually see anyone get eaten they just disappear under water.

Seriously, avoid this one, there are no redeeming values at all in it. Terrible on all levels.

I don't think I ever suffered through a movie as I did this one. There is one movie that comes close but this film takes number one because a) the same 'scene' was revisited throughout the entire movie -just using different actors for each different 'scene' b) that professor guy was not necessary. Maybe his random narration was inserted to get a longer running time on the film? (probably because they ran out of actors to 'push' into the water) c) rehashing of frumpy sexual innuendos and overtures were used throughout the movie with poor delivery, over saturation and a mostly non-'hot' cast.

I feel the largest asset to the production was the location use of marinas. However, the use of not-professional-actor friends and/or family, using the same 'type of scenes' and dialogue throughout the entire movie (I liken this to creating an original 'family portrait' using Photoshop. Then creating MORE of this 'family portrait' by simply cutting and pasting different people's heads on the same bodies with the same background....) I would like to add I didn't mind the crappy toy shark. I get that this is supposed to be a comedy.

So, I give it a .05 for the crappy toy shark and a .95 for the use of the marina and boats.

This totals '1' which still equals 'crappy'.