Hiroki Yasumoto credited as playing...
Germany
- Italy: It's been a while since I slept with you, Romano.
- Romano: Shut up! You should have at least two beds in your place!
- Italy: How weird... I usually sleep together with Germany and Japan.
- Romano: [Grabs Italy's throat] You still get along with them!
- [Repeatedly bashes his head into his brother's]
- Italy: Bro, I can't breathe. Bro, I can't breathe!
- [Cut to Germany's office; his phone is ringing. He picks it up]
- Italy: Germany, save me! I'm on my bed and my brother is- ow!
- Romano: Not there!
- Italy: It's stuck! OW!
- Romano: Put down the phone, you fool!
- Italy: TAKE IT OUT!
- Romano: Put it down!
- [Line goes dead]
- Germany: [Slightly disturbed] His brother's... stuck..."ow"... take it out...
- [Germany bursts into Italy's room]
- Italy: Italy, are you okay! What's going-!
- [He realizes the brothers' signature hair curls are merely tangled with each other]
- Italy: Germany, you're late!
- Austria: You moron! Why did you become allied with Italy?
- Germany: Well... let's just say that there's a lot more to it than you think. It's better to have more people on our side, isn't it?
- Austria: No! He's probably mass-producing white flags as we speak! I'll express how angry I am with this piano.
- Germany: Alright, go for it.
- [Austria proceeds to play a lengthy piece. Germany waits patiently]
- Austria: Do you understand now?
- Germany: So your anger is Chopin...?
- Germany: [Narrating] One night, I couldn't sleep well and opened my eyes...
- [cut to a disheveled looking man standing over him]
- Germany: to find some strange guy staring at me.
- Roman Empire: What? So this is Italy's ally? For some reason, I'm a bit annoyed.
- Germany: Who the hell are you!
- Roman Empire: What did you say? You must be really ignorant if you don't know who I am. As you can see from my sculpture-like beauty, and my steel-like strength, I'm none other than the great Roman Empire, the supreme ruler of the Mediterranean!
- [Germany points a gun in his face]
- Germany: Get out, you suspicious bastard! What are you planning? On top of that, impersonating the Roman Empire, a man I have deep respect for, is unforgivable!
- Roman Empire: I'm serious though...
- Germany: Shut your trap! From now on, speak only when you're answering my questions. Who the hell are you?
- Germany: Whoa, food!
- [takes a bite of a raw potato]
- Germany: I'm the great Roman Empire.
- Germany: Because of what you just said, I've decided to put a bullet through your head.
- Roman Empire: Don't get so worked up! Come on, you heard my beautiful voice, remember?
- Germany: That was you? Well, why are you here?
- Roman Empire: Oh yeah, I forgot!
- [pulls back Germany's bedsheets to reveal a content Italy, deep in sleep]
- Roman Empire: I came to see my precious grandson!
- Germany: Hang on! Why is he in my bed?
- Roman Empire: [Cuddles Italy] Gosh, you're so damn cute! You're such a good boy!
- Germany: A dream! A dream! This is all a dream!
- Germany: [Germany is training Italy] Alright, beginning with instructions. Today concerns your interactions in the military with your inferiors!
- Italy: [Salutes] Yes, sir! Germ - er, Captain!
- Germany: Okay, first off. Before they're your inferiors, they're human beings. Thus, it's important to touch them gently.
- Italy: [Pets the cat he is holding] Gentle? Stroke, stroke.
- Germany: And sometimes, you must be strict!
- Italy: Strict! Paw out!
- [Repeatedly squeezes the cat's paw]
- Italy: Squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish!
- [the cat licks Italy's face. He screams]
- Italy: Captain! What's happening? This is mutiny! It's mutiny!
- Germany: The hell are you doing, Italy!
- Germany: Dear diary. Today, Italy was attacked by England and France while I was out.
- [Cut to England hitting Italy on the head]
- Italy: [Whimpering] Ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve...
- Germany: Hey! Quit hitting Italy when I'm not around!
- [England runs away]
- Germany: Get back here! Hit him again, and I'll shape Iona up like a heart!
- [Runs after him]
- France: Take this!
- [Hits Italy as he cries]
- Germany: [Offscreen] CUT IT OUT!
- Germany: [Training Italy, holding a grenade] I'll teach you how to use a hand grenade. First, remove and discard the pin to arm it.
- [Removes the pin with his teeth and tosses the grenade, which explodes tremendously on the cliff in front of them]
- Germany: Then throw it at the enemy's position... is how it goes. Think you can handle it?
- Italy: [Dazed as usual] Yes, understood! If it's just that, I think I can do it if I try!
- Germany: [Is then hit in the head with something] Hey, don't throw it at-!
- [Turns and sees he was hit with the grenade pin, and Italy has the grenade in his mouth, humming]
- Germany: You've got it backwards! Backwards! Hurry up and throw it! If you don't hurry up and throw it, you'll go "boom"!
- [Screams in horror]