Robin Tunney credited as playing...
Teresa Lisbon
- Patrick Jane: All you need is a basic understanding of the evolutionary psychology of women, rigorously and fearlessly applied. You gotta know what buttons to press.
- Teresa Lisbon: Like we're toasters.
- Grace Van Pelt: Like men don't have buttons too.
- Patrick Jane: Men are like toasters. Women, a little more like, uh... accordions.
- [Lisbon and Van Pelt give him dirty looks and leave]
- Patrick Jane: I thought that was a compliment.
- Wayne Rigsby: I don't believe this guy. I give up! I do not understand women. Never have, never will. Seems like the dumber you treat them, the better they like it.
- Grace Van Pelt: They're *drunk* women. You can't generalize all women in general.
- Teresa Lisbon: [Whispers to Jane] This is your fault.
- Patrick Jane: No, it's not. I'm just sitting here.
- Teresa Lisbon: Wolcutt is on his way down here with a thousand dollar an hour lawyer. If you give him a formal apology, he says he's willing to drop the whole matter.
- Patrick Jane: Hmm, let me think... No.
- Teresa Lisbon: Would you please be reasonable for once?
- Patrick Jane: I'm busy.
- Teresa Lisbon: Right.
- Patrick Jane: I am. I'm just thinking that, uh... he's gonna drop the whole matter in any case.
- Teresa Lisbon: Oh, really?
- Patrick Jane: I guarantee it. He's a shallow narcissist. It's all about image. And this whole business makes him seem small and silly.
- [Lisbon flicks his nose and storms off]
- Patrick Jane: [Lisbon kicks him as he dozes on the couch] What?
- Teresa Lisbon: You know damn well what. You assaulted a man.
- Patrick Jane: No, I just tweaked him on the nose.
- Teresa Lisbon: Technically, that's assault.
- Patrick Jane: Technically, he's an ass. He deserved it.
- Teresa Lisbon: Yes, he is, but this is not a schoolyard. You simply cannot do stuff like that.
- Patrick Jane: I did. I did it. And the seas didn't boil and the sky didn't fall.
- Teresa Lisbon: Do you keep a list of your pickups?
- Paul Fricke: Yeah, of course. I have them here.
- [Takes out phone]
- Paul Fricke: Names, numbers, and a one-to-10 grading system.
- Teresa Lisbon: Nice. Something to show your grandkids.