Jennette McCurdy credited as playing...
Sam Puckett
- Sam Puckett: Well, apparently Freddie's got his little anti-bacterial underpants in a bunch.
- Freddie: I stopped wearing antibacterial underpants and I'm entitled to my opinion.
- Sam Puckett: [about Spencer's magic meatball] Looks like something my Aunt Maggie would cough up.
- [everyone looks at her]
- Sam Puckett: Well, she's a smoker.
- Fred Figglehorn: [Sad] Hey. It's me. If you saw the last iCarly, then you heard Freddie Benson say he doesn't like my Fred videos...
- Freddie: [on a clip of the recent iCarly] 'Cause I don't think Fred is all that funny.
- Fred Figglehorn: [Angry] Well, thank you for crushing my feelings. Now I'm not gonna post any more Fred videos ever again. Internet, I click you goodbye.
- [the computer screen turns to black and the words Goodbye From Fred appear]
- Sam Puckett: [Also angry] You see what you did? You killed Fred!
- [hurts Freddie and he groans]
- Freddie: [after he was hurt by Sam] I just gave my honest opinion!
- Sam Puckett: [to Carly] Who texted you?
- Carly Shay: Gibby. He wants us to check out some website called neverwatchicarly.com.
- Sam Puckett: Well, that can't be good.
- Carly Shay: I know it can't be good!
- Freddie: Already on it.
- [as he types on the computer]
- Freddie: neverwatchicarly.com.
- Carly Shay: [as she looks at the website] Oh, man. Some guy started a whole website just to try to stop people from watching iCarly?
- Sam Puckett: [to Freddie] All 'cause you irritated Fred.
- [injures Freddie; Freddie groans]
- Carly Shay: Okay, let's not panic. How many people have signed up to support him?
- Freddie: [as he refreshes the website] Um, a few hundred.
- Carly Shay: Okay. That's not so many.
- Freddie: Wait. I just refreshed the page. Now it's up to 3,000.
- Carly Shay: How many?
- Freddie: Refreshing. Yikes, 18,000.
- Sam Puckett: Are you sure?
- Freddie: Refreshing. 90...
- Carly Shay: Okay, why don't we stop refreshing? Unh!
- Sam Puckett: [about Lucas] He's chuckling.
- Carly Shay: I see him chuckling. Why are you chuckling?
- Fred Figglehorn: 'Cause you guys are cute.
- Freddie: Cute?
- Fred Figglehorn: Yeah. I was never mad. I love "iCarly."
- Sam Puckett: But you said that Freddie hurt your feelings.
- Carly Shay: And that's why you stopped making your "Fred" videos.
- Fred Figglehorn: Come on. I'm not gonna stop making the "Fred" videos.
- Carly Shay: Okay. I get it. The real problem here is that you're insane!
- Fred Figglehorn: Am I?
- Carly Shay: Uh, pretty much, yeah.
- Freddie: Kind of psycho.
- Sam Puckett: Yep.
- Freddie: This whole thing is getting insane.
- Sam: Did you check and see if the Fred guy answered your e-mail?
- Carly Shay: I check every 10 minutes. Why won't he write back?
- Freddie: Because he's a jerk.
- Sam: You're the queen of the jerks!
- Freddie: Why pick on me?
- Sam: Two reasons: number one, I love it. Number two, this whole fight between iCarly and Fred is your fault.
- Freddie: I just said I didn't think his videos were all that funny. He's the one who overreacted and started this whole brouhaha.
- Sam: Brouhaha?
- Carly Shay: You can't say things like "brouhaha" and not expect people to hit you.
- Carly Shay: Until next time, stay in school,
- Sam Puckett: Recycle,
- Carly Shay: Pour milk on your parents,
- Sam Puckett: Hug a duck,
- Carly Shay: Eat a stick of butter,
- Sam Puckett: And shampoo a squirrel, goodbye!