Salma Hayek credited as playing...
Roxanne Chase-Feder
- [from trailer]
- Bean Lamonsoff: Mommy, I want some milk.
- Sally Lamonsoff: Come here. I'll give you a little something.
- [starts breastfeeding Bean]
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: Your son is so cute. How old is he?
- Eric Lamonsoff: 48 months.
- Kurt McKenzie: [pause] That's 4.
- Eric Lamonsoff: [pause] Yeah.
- [from trailer]
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: [an old woman approaches them] And this must be your mother.
- Rob Hilliard: My wife.
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: I'm sorry!
- Rob Hilliard: I'm not.
- [kisses his wife]
- Marcus Higgins: [onlooking] Oh, grody.
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: Excuse me, Princess Rita. Are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna help me?
- Rita: No, Mr. Feder said that I must study for the big final.
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: What final?
- Rita: You tell me, he just keeps handing me books.
- Lenny Feder: Roxanne, I have made out with about 25 girls in this very spot and I want you to be number 26.
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: As long as I am the last.
- [Roxanne is experiencing difficulties with a sewing machine]
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: [in Spanish] This stupid machine, that doesn't work for anything, gets stuck, stuck, stuck!
- Sally Lamonsoff: That's so sexy. What are you saying?
- Deanne McKenzie: Oh, I think that she said:
- [speaks mock Spanish]
- Deanne McKenzie: Milan!
- [Everyone laughs]
- Sally Lamonsoff: See that? Now he won't even drink from me.
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: That's what men do. They take and take, and then give you up for some cow.
- Sally Lamonsoff: Well now I don't know what I'm going to do with these.
- Eric Lamonsoff: I do.
- Lenny Feder: Higgins, what are you doing?
- Marcus Higgins: I don't wear pants at my house, I'm not wearing them in your house. Sorry.
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: That was a man's ass?