Bruce Willis: Jimmy

Cop Out

Jimmy

Paul Hodges: [screaming random movie lines to get a suspect to talk] Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!
Jimmy Monroe: I've never seen that movie before.

Dave: Knock Knock.
Paul Hodges: Don't do it Jim.
Dave: Do it.
Paul Hodges: If you respect our partnership Jim don't do it.
Dave: Do it.
Jimmy Monroe: Who's there?
Dave: Orange.
Paul Hodges: No. No. Mm-mm. Mm-mm! No! No! NO! NO! NO! NO! HELL NO! NO! NO! I refuse to... NO! No! Alright Orange who damn it?
Dave: Orange you pissed that your wife is taking it in the ass from another guy right now?

Jimmy Monroe: This guy's the biggest car thief in Brooklyn, let's be careful
Tommy: [Rolls down the car window, looks up at Paul and Jimmy] You just scratched my ride.
Paul Hodges: What the hell are you doin', Tommy?
Tommy: I'm drivin', bitch.
Paul Hodges: Get out o' the car!
Tommy: Is it I'm black?
Paul Hodges: No! Cause you're TEN!
Tommy: Eleven!
Paul Hodges: Get out o' the car!
Tommy: I was wearin' my seatbelt!
Paul Hodges: Get out o' the car, you little re-peat offender!
Tommy: Fuck!

Tommy: What?
Paul Hodges: You know, I'm gonna smack the black off you!
Tommy: You can't do anything to me
Paul Hodges: Talk! About the stolen Mercedes-Benz!
Tommy: I'm not tellin' you nothin'
Paul Hodges: No, you gonna tell me somethin' or I'm gonna...
[Tommy kicks Paul in the balls]
Jimmy Monroe: I told ya be careful!
[Paul punches Tommy]
Jimmy Monroe: Paul, did you just punch a little child?
Paul Hodges: There's things you don't know about me, Jim, I'll fuck a little kid up if he kicked me in the dick!

Paul Hodges: Now we need to know about the Mercedez
[Jimmy looks on with a grin]
Paul Hodges: that was stolen a couple o' nights ago, in the back of a Mini-Mart, in Bay Ridge!
Tommy: I ain't tellin' you shit! You can't DO shit, cause I'm a miiiinor
Jimmy Monroe: Heh heh heh heh
Tommy: Fuck you too, Professor-X-looking Mother Fucker!
Jimmy Monroe: You are an angry young man.
Tommy: Yo, you're messin' with my business, bitch.
Paul Hodges: Whose car is this?
Tommy: Yo Momma's!

Paul Hodges: You know, the bonobo chimpanzee is the only non-human primate that has oral sex?
Jimmy Monroe: Where do you find the time to watch "Animal Planet"? I'm with you 25 hours a day!
Paul Hodges: [Pointing to head] I have to feed this. I have to feed this.
Jimmy Monroe: Well, you're a compendium of fucking useless information.
Paul Hodges: Well, I don't wanna look at reality TV, cause that's the bowels of Hollywood.
Jimmy Monroe: [mumbled] fuckin' Reality TV, fuckin' blows
Paul Hodges: And I like to see chimpanzees gettin' head.
Jimmy Monroe: You got a point.

Paul Hodges: Oh, shit. He's taking a shit in the house.
Jimmy Monroe: What kind of guy takes a shit in the same house that he's robbing?
Paul Hodges: I don't know. What kind of guy takes a shit in a high-pressure situation like this? I'm not shitting no where except for my house. I will pitch it in my house for hours before I let it go. But when I let it, here, it goes. Here, she blows. The big brown shark is gonna to come. I set records for my shit turds. I move my bowels all over my toilet. All over my bathroom, I'm moving bowels. I shit so hard sometimes, people next door will be like, "Warriors, come out and play."

Barry Mangold: [teasing Monroe after he's been robbed] Mr. Monroe, we are the police. We're here to help. You've been a victim of a crime, do you understand?
Jimmy Monroe: I ain't got no time for this shit.
Barry Mangold: Wow! Oh God!
Hunsaker: You know, based on the uh the emotional state how we should proceed? What do you think? We could get him a psycho avaluation?
Barry Mangold: So we're gonna take you to Bellevue just to make sure you're okay uh huh?
Hunsaker: Now for the record, how long actually have you been a...
[Barry shows a comic book]
Hunsaker: hobbyist?
Barry Mangold: Now, was there any identifying marks on the suspects?
Jimmy Monroe: [remembers of Dave's tattoo] No!

Jimmy Monroe: Ma'am, ma'am.
Laura: Whats going on?
Paul Hodges: Somebody just broke into your house.
Laura: [while pulling out gun] I'm gonna go take care of the son of a... B, myself.
Jimmy Monroe: Whoa, whoa, ma'am.
Kevin: You gonna smoke somebody?
Paul Hodges: Put the gun down.
Laura: I know my rights!
Jimmy Monroe: [while trying not to swear in front of young boy] Lady, put the f-in' gun, down on the ground right now, take your son across the f-in' street, AND STAY THERE TILL WE COME AND GET YOU! Jesus... C.

Paul Hodges: OK, how are we going work this?
Jimmy Monroe: Same way we always do. I interrogate him, you write it down.
Paul Hodges: Oh so you're making decisions now? I hope the whole 6-9 know that you're making decisions. I'm going to play the bad guy on this one.
Jimmy Monroe: Doubtful.
Paul Hodges: Un-doubtful.
Jimmy Monroe: Highly doubtful and you know why because you don't play the bad guy. You just steal all the bullshit lines you hear on TV and the movies that you like.

[first lines]
Paul Hodges: You know what today represents? Nine Jim. Nine years me and you been together. *Nine* we been main shit stains. I know some dogs that don't even live to be nine. You're lucky if you get seven years out of a Great Dane. But me and you been puttin' it together for nine...
[whips out a card]
Paul Hodges: Happy anniversary Jim.
Jimmy Monroe: I don't celebrate anniversaries.
Paul Hodges: Jim, open it up. I wanna see the expression on your face.
Jimmy Monroe: You wanna see the expression on my face? The expression you're gonna see on my face is "fuck you".

Paul Hodges: That's called parkour. It's a French martial art to get you around and over stuff.
Jimmy Monroe: What are you?