Jared Leto: The Joker

Suicide Squad

The Joker

Amanda Waller: [narration] Before she ran off and joined the circus, she was known as Dr. Harleen Quinzel. A psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. She was assigned to The Clown himself.
The Joker: Dr. Quinzel. You know, I live for these moments with you. What do you got?
Harley Quinn: I got you a kitty.
The Joker: So thoughtful.
Amanda Waller: [narration] She thought she was curing him, but she was falling in love.
The Joker: There is something you could do for me, Doctor.
Harley Quinn: Anything. I mean, yeah.
The Joker: I need a machine gun
Harley Quinn: A machine gun?
Amanda Waller: [narration] Talk about a workplace romance gone wrong.

The Joker: What do we have here?
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: I did everything you said. I helped you.
The Joker: Ah. You helped me. By erasing my mind? What few faded memories I had! No. You left me in a black hole of rage and confusion. Is that the medicine you practice, Dr. Quinzel?
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: What are you gonna do? You gonna kill me, Mr. J?
The Joker: What? Oh, I'm not gonna kill ya. I'm just gonna hurt ya... really, really bad.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: You think so? Well, I can take it.
The Joker: [puts belt in her mouth] I wouldn't want you to break those perfect porcelain-capped teeth when the juice hits your brain.

Amanda Waller: [narrating] And that was just the beginning.
[Joker and Harley drive crazily through Gotham City when Batman starts to follow]
Harley Quinn: Come on, Puddin'. Do it!
The Joker: Oh. We have got company.
Harley Quinn: Batsy, Batsy, Batsy.
Amanda Waller: [narrating] She's crazier than him. And more fearless.
[Batman leaps onto the roof of the car]
Harley Quinn: Stupid Bats, you're ruining date night!
[Harley attempts to shoot Batman through the roof]

The Joker: I love this guy. He's so intense!
Monster T: [looking at Harley dancing] Mmm. You're a lucky man. You got a bad bitch.
The Joker: Oh, that she is. The fire in my loins. The itch in my crotch. The one, the only, the infamous Harley Quinn!
[whistles for Harley]
The Joker: Ooh, come to Daddy.
Harley Quinn: Puddin'!
[laughs]
The Joker: Listen, you are my gift to this handsome hunka hunka! You belong to him now.
Harley Quinn: Well...
[barks at Monster T and laughs]
Harley Quinn: You're cute. You want me? I'm all yours.
Monster T: I don't want no beef.
The Joker: You don't want no beef?
[mocking]
The Joker: You don't want no beef? You don't want no beef?
Harley Quinn: Why, what's wrong? You don't like me? Fine. Don't waste my time then.
Monster T: This is your lady.
The Joker: Look, are you enjoying yourself?
The Joker: No. That's your lady, Joker.
The Joker: That's right.

Harley Quinn: You got all dressed up for me?
The Joker: Oh, you know I'd do anything for you. By the way, I've got some grape soda on ice and a bear skin rug waiting.
Harley Quinn: Yeah?
Frost: Boss, we got a problem!
[the Joker's helicopter is struck by a missile]
The Joker: Huh? This bird... is baked. Okay honey, it's me and you.
Harley Quinn: Let's do it!

Monster T: We finally meet.
Frost: Nah, he don't shake hands. But sit down and have a drink.
Monster T: Hey, J. On behalf of everybody, welcome back. I wanted to come by and personally say thank you. You making me good money. I'm making you good money.
The Joker: Are you sweet talking me?
[laughs]
The Joker: I love this guy. He's so intense!

The Joker: Question... Would you die for me?
Harley Quinn: Yes.
The Joker: That's too easy. Would you... Would you live for me? Hmm?
Harley Quinn: Yes.
The Joker: Careful. Do not say this oath thoughtlessly. Desire becomes surrender. Surrender becomes power.
[pause]
The Joker: Do you want this?
Harley Quinn: I do.
The Joker: Say it.
[pauses]
The Joker: Say it. Say it. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty...
Harley Quinn: Please?
The Joker: [impressed] Aw! God, you're so... good.

Frost: You might wanna keep your mouth shut.
Griggs: Can I go, man? What the hell is going on, man? This is crazy.
The Joker: Blah, blah-blah, blah-blah. Blah-blah, blah, blah. All of that chitchat's gonna get ya hurt.
[smacks Griggs' shoulders]
Griggs: Oh! My God!
The Joker: Mmm.
[Joker holds out his ring and Griggs kisses it]
The Joker: I could tell you meant that.
Griggs: Yeah.
The Joker: [laughs] You're gonna be my friend.

The Joker: Oh, you.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: You're not leaving me. You're not leaving me!
The Joker: You, you, you're a pain in the ass.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: I have done everything you said. Every test, every trial, every initiation. I have proved I love you. Just accept it.
The Joker: [interrupts] Got it, got it, got it, got it. I am not someone who is loved. I'm an idea. A state of mind. I execute *my* will according to my plan. And you, Doctor... are not part of my plan.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: Just let me in. I promise... Let me in! I promise I won't hurt you!
The Joker: A promise-promise?
[laughs]

The Joker: [sarcastically as Harley holds a gun to his head] Don't hurt me. I'll be your friend.
[seriously]
The Joker: Do it. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: My heart scares you, and a gun doesn't?
The Joker: Do it!
[snatches gun away and laughs]
The Joker: Ah, if you weren't so crazy, I'd think you were insane. Go... away.

The Joker: Where is she?
Frost: It's complex. This is not just her. Everybody's disappearing. There's this new law, where if you're a bad enough bad guy, they stamp "terrorist" on your jacket. They send you to this swamp in Louisiana. A black site. That's where she is.
[pause]
Frost: So, what are we doing?
The Joker: Bring the car around. We're going for a drive.
[laughs]

Harley Quinn: Puddin'!
[kisses the Joker]
Harley Quinn: You got all dressed up for me?
The Joker: Oh, you know I'd do anything for you. By the way, I've got some grape soda on ice and a bear skin rug waiting.