Lea Michele credited as playing...
Rachel Berry
- Will Schuester: [Rachel's sulking in the stands of the football field] You changed out of your costume.
- Rachel Berry: I'm tired of being laughed at.
- Will Schuester: You're the best kid in there, Rachel. It comes with a price.
- Rachel Berry: Look, I know I'm just a sophomore, but I can feel the clock ticking away and I don't want to leave high school with nothing to show for it.
- Will Schuester: You get great grades. You're a fantastic singer.
- Rachel Berry: Everybody hates me.
- Will Schuester: You think being in Glee Club is going to change that?
- Rachel Berry: Being great at something is going to change it. Being part of something special makes you special, right?
- Finn Hudson: Look, I owe you guys an apology. I never should have quit. I don't want to be the guy that just drives around throwing eggs at people!
- Rachel Berry: That was you?
- Kurt Hummel: You and your friends threw pee balloons at me.
- Finn Hudson: I know.
- Kurt Hummel: You nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof.
- Finn Hudson: I wasn't actually there for that, but I'm really sorry.
- Rachel Berry: You might think that all of the boys in school would want to tap this, but my MySpace schedule keeps me way too busy to date.
- Rachel Berry: Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?
- Artie Abrams: I think Mr. Schue's using irony to enhance the performance.
- Rachel Berry: There's *nothing* ironic about show choir!
- Rachel Berry: I am not homophobic. In fact, I have two gay dads. See, I was born out of love. My two dads screened potential surrogates based on beauty and IQ. Then they mixed their sperm together and used a turkey baster. To this day we don't know which one is my real dad, which I think is pretty amazing.