Sean Patrick Flanery credited as playing...
Connor MacManus
- Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus: Sláinte
- Murphy MacManus: You know, he was sort of a badass though, wasn't he?
- Connor MacManus: Shades of Eastwood. Charlie Bronson.
- Rocco: Duke Fucking Wayne!
- Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus: Duke Fucking WAYNE!
- Rocco: Men build things, then we die. It's in our fucking DNA! THAT'S WHAT WE DO!
- Murphy MacManus: And when it all falls down?
- Rocco: We build it right back up again.
- Connor MacManus: But this time bigger. BETTER!
- Rocco: Look! Look what we can do. Look how fuckin' beautiful we are. You think the men that built all this had it easy?
- Murphy MacManus: Hard men!
- Connor MacManus: Doing hard shit!
- Rocco: and that gives me a hard on... But not in a gay way or anything like that.
- Murphy MacManus: No, 'course not
- Connor MacManus: Yeah it goes without sayin'
- Rocco: I am so sick of all of this self help, twelve step, leftover hippie generation bullshit!
- Connor MacManus: Now they don't want you to do anything, right? Just sit there. Don't drink.
- Murphy MacManus: Don't smoke. Don't drive fast.
- Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus, Rocco: Kiss my ass!
- Rocco: Fuck it! Do it all I say! Do you think Duke Wayne spent all of his time talking about his feelings with a fuckin' therapist?
- Connor MacManus: There's no fucking way he did!
- Rocco: John Wayne died with five pounds of undigested red meat in his ass. Now that's a man! Real men hide their feelings. Why?
- Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus, Rocco: Because it's none of your fuckin' business!
- Rocco: Men do not cry. Men do not pout. Men jack you in the fuckin' jaw and say...
- Detective Greenly: Thanks for comin' out.
- Doc: Not this time, ya little shit.
- Connor MacManus: We'll see, old man... Would somebody please come over here and...
- Doc: FUCK!
- Connor MacManus: ...me up the...
- Doc: Ass!
- Connor MacManus: [Grabs gun and points it at Romeo] And an awesome wailin' was heard throughout...
- Murphy MacManus: And the terrible hand of the lord, struck upon the earth...
- Connor MacManus: And as almighty God, created you... Now... He calleth you home!
- Connor MacManus: [pause. Gun Clicks] Oops... Busy signal... We'll have to calleth back!
- Murphy MacManus: [Brothers Laugh] Let's have a shot while we're waitin'!
- Connor MacManus: I think he took a little piss!
- Romeo: That shit was not funny!
- [from trailer]
- Connor MacManus: You ready for this shit, my dear brother?
- Murphy MacManus: Let's do some gratuitous violence.
- Connor MacManus: Creative! It's a creative plan!
- Murphy MacManus: It's ridiculous! Probably based on some stupid shit ya saw in a movie! And here I am AGAIN all tyin' myself up with ya stupid fuckin' rope! What is the deal with you and rope? Honestly!
- Connor MacManus: It happens ta be a useful thing, now shut it!
- Detective Duffy: You didn't get this from a movie, did you?
- [Murphy stares at Connor]
- Connor MacManus: The "Eiger Sanction" with Clint Eastwood! And it worked like a charm for him!
- Murphy MacManus: I fuckin' knew!
- Murphy MacManus: But how would anyone recognize us?
- Connor MacManus: You don't remember those sketches on the news channel?
- Murphy MacManus: Shit. That's right. Y'know, every time they show those composites on TV and then they catch the guy, it looks nothin' like him. But ours?
- Connor MacManus: Just our luck. We get Leonardo fuckin' da Vinci as a sketch artist.
- Murphy MacManus: Maybe we should dye our hair.
- Connor MacManus: What?
- Murphy MacManus: Yeah. These guys are always dyin' their hair. You know, like in 'The Fugitive.' It's covert and shit.
- Connor MacManus: [Connor smirks privately] What color would you dye it?
- Murphy MacManus: I don't know... lighter, I guess.
- Connor MacManus: Y'mean... blonde?
- Murphy MacManus: I didn't say that!
- Connor MacManus: California, surfer boy, gay, gay, gay blonde?
- Murphy MacManus: I'm warnin' ya!
- Connor MacManus: Just keep your hands off my ass back there and, "Stay gold, Pony Boy."
- [Connor laughs heartily]
- Murphy MacManus: Fuck you!
- [Connor stabs the ink pen into his brother's shoulder]
- Connor MacManus: AAAAAAH!
- [Connor bolts up, knocking over the pot. Hot water and pennies spread across the floor. Connor pulls the pen out]
- Connor MacManus: You Motherfucker!
- Murphy MacManus: Serves ya right!
- Connor MacManus: [tasting a mysterious white powder] That's heroin...
- Murphy MacManus: [after a dramatic pause] How the fuck would you know that?
- Connor MacManus: Fuck you! I know shit!
- Romeo: Hey guys! You know what this is? This is our hideout man!
- Connor MacManus: What are you fuckin' five?
- Murphy MacManus: Look we have sticks, and some blankets. You could make a fort.
- Romeo: Fuck you guys, this is cool. We even have a pinball machine.
- Romeo: Why can't I help you guys? It's because I'm a Mexican, ain't it?
- Connor MacManus: How dare you, sir, you insinuate such a thing! The fact that you're a greasy spic has nothing to do with it.
- [Connor and Murphy start laughing]
- Connor MacManus: Then we skin out. We go to Doc's for a shot of Irish. We're home in time for tacos.
- [claps hands]
- Connor MacManus: That's what we do.
- Murphy MacManus: [looks at Connor doubtingly]
- Connor MacManus: What?
- Murphy MacManus: It's just this plan.
- Connor MacManus: What the fucks wrong with the plan?
- Murphy MacManus: It's, it's
- Romeo: It's genius! I can even drive an F-lift man. Got my class D license and everything.
- Connor MacManus: That's the fucking spirit!
- Romeo: I'm gonna need a gun.
- Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus: Forget it!
- Romeo: The fuck man, I'm in on this shit. I'm workin here.
- Connor MacManus: Fuck's sake. Know what your gonna do? You're gonna consider yourself a fucking pledge 'til we tell you different.
- Murphy MacManus: [laughs]
- Romeo: Can I consider myself your girlfriend too?
- Connor MacManus: That's what you get. Is there a fucking problem?
- Romeo: It's fine!
- Connor MacManus: I'm fucking watching you. You understand me. You stow that shit.
- Murphy MacManus: Don't you worry, Rome, shit like this that builds character.
- Romeo: Yeah, character of a little bitch.
- Murphy MacManus: Now that's just unprofessional.
- Connor MacManus: I think Yakavetta killed a good man just to send us a message.
- Murphy MacManus: Let's send him one right back!
- Romeo: Who ordered the whup ass fajita?
- [Connor and Murphy stare at him for a moment]
- Murphy MacManus: That's fuckin' stupid.
- Connor MacManus: Completely retarted.