Liev Schreiber credited as playing...
- Ned: [to son chatting the on the Internet] You're not talking to people you don't know, are you?
- Jonah: Uhh, you mean potential pedophiles?
- Ned: Mm-hm.
- Jonah: Just ones that live around here.
- Ned: I better go pick Jonah up before someone else does.
- Jonah: I'm not interested in being with someone who's older. I... I just wanna dance with other people who are gay.
- Ned: I think I'd rather talk about the smell of pee.
- Jeannie: Ned...
- Ned: I think he should change, or he can't go.
- Jonah: This is what people wear to a dance.
- Ned: Why don't you just go in a jock strap?
- Jeannie: You're being ridiculous.
- Ethan: You can sort of see the outline of your penis in those.
- Ned: Did that sweater look that gay on me.
- Ned: You look good.
- Jeannie: I feel old.
- Ned: But you look good and that's the main thing.
- Ned: I don't want you dancing with college kids. Period.
- Jonah: What are they gonna do? Rape me?
- Jeannie: [Epeaking about Ernie] I don't even like him.
- Ned: You're a good daughter.
- Jeannie: I'm a guilty daughter.
- Ethan: Is Grandpa Ernie gonna eat every meal with us?
- Ned: Only if he's good. If he's bad, we force him to eat in his own room - excuse me, your room.
